


i've always been this heartless / no i would never call it love

by milkywei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Painful pining, kageyama is an enabler, ot5 third years, pls help him, the tension is strong with these two, tsukishima kei is a hopeless romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23280619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkywei/pseuds/milkywei
Summary: It is Valentine's week and Tsukishima Kei needs a quick way out of confessions. It is not that he has no interest in dating (stop rubbing his 'single-since-birth' status in his poor face, Yamaguchi), he just does not think he can date anyone he does not feel a 'zing' with. The solution to his problem comes in the form of Kageyama Tobio, who surprisingly agrees to be his pretend boyfriend for the whole week.Kageyama is the safest choice anyway, right?
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 152
Kudos: 744





	1. monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has been translated to chinese by the wonderful [dm616263](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dm616263/pseuds/dm616263)! she's amazing and i appreciate her so much ♡
> 
> [part 1](https://fanqiesaigao.lofter.com/post/1eab3c34_1c8c16826) | [part 2](https://fanqiesaigao.lofter.com/post/1eab3c34_1c8c3b3b1) | [part 3](https://fanqiesaigao.lofter.com/post/1eab3c34_1c8c69dfa)

Sometimes Tsukishima does not understand high school. He makes an effort to be a cold-hearted asshole to the people around him yet he still attracts attention from both girls and guys, enough for them to slip chocolates into his homeroom locker in lieu of Valentine’s Day.

“Wow, Tsukki! Seems like you received more chocolates than you did last year,” Yamaguchi laughs. “Your popularity is really amazing.”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima sighs, clearing the chocolates to make space for his things. He hears the girls sitting at the other end of the classroom looking at him and giggling when he says that and Tsukishima raises an eyebrow because he really does not understand why.

“Sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi grins, saying it to complement Tsukishima’s words rather than actually meaning it. “So are you just gonna ignore the confessions like you did last year?”

“It’s just so troublesome,” Tsukishima replies with a huff. “Also, you know I don’t feel like dating anyone at the moment.”

“Right, right. The _‘zing’_ thing,” Yamaguchi nods. “But don’t you think you’re just not feeling it because you’re not putting yourself out there?”

Tsukishima pauses in the middle of clearing his locker to make a face at Yamaguchi. “You sound like Akiteru.”

“Akiteru complains to me about how he’s not able to do the embarrassing brother bit because you’ve been single your whole life,” Yamaguchi chuckles.

“Gee… That makes me look forward to dating,” Tsukishima replies sarcastically to which Yamaguchi laughs.

“Have you ever wondered what dating feels like, though?” Yamaguchi asks.

It is not like Tsukishima has never thought of it before. In fact, since Yamaguchi started dating Yachi, Tsukishima has been wondering what it is like to be in love. He has to admit, his take on love has probably stopped him from forming relationships many times. Yamaguchi refers to it as the _‘zing’_ because that is the only way Tsukishima knows how to explain it (also because of that _one_ animation that conveniently portrayed it for him). He thinks that relationships are only worth pursuing when he feels a _‘zing’_ with the other person. He does not really know how to describe what that is like, he has never even felt it before, but his mother told him that he will immediately know once he meets the person.

_Surprise, surprise. Tsukishima Kei is actually a closet hopeless romantic._

Yamaguchi’s phone beeps and Tsukishima watches him fish it out of his pocket. Judging from the way Yamaguchi lightens up, it must be Yachi. “Ah, look at the poster Yachi made for the club!” Yamaguchi beams, showing Tsukishima the screen.

“As expected of Yachi,” Tsukishima comments. Yamaguchi retracts his phone and looks at his screen again, heartfelt pride written all over his face. “I know right,” Yamaguchi swoons, typing in his reply with a big smile on his face.

Tsukishima is happy for his best friend, he really is. He is happy for Yachi too, she has grown to be one of his closest friends and he has even developed a soft spot for her. But why does knowing they are both happy together make his heart clench in his chest?

* * *

Tsukishima has been getting more chocolates in his locker throughout the day and luckily he came prepared with an extra bag to keep all of them in (Last year, he had just shoved all of them into his bag and they ended up melting all over his books). When the last school bell rings, he gets ready to head for practice. Yamaguchi gives him a wave and heads off first, probably to meet Yachi to walk to practice together. It has been awhile since they both started dating, but it still takes some time for him to adjust to being alone. Yamaguchi has always stuck to him like glue anyway so now he is spending more time with Yachi, Tsukishima is usually by himself. The thing about this is, people think he is easier to approach since he is by himself, and _he really just does not understand why_.

“Tsukishima-kun!”

Tsukishima stops in his tracks and turns around to see a girl standing in front of him, shyly twisting a lock of her hair. He has seen this girl around but he does not know her name. She is one of those girls in those cliques that are always whispering and giggling around him (Yes, he is aware of them).

“Sorry to bother you on your way to practice! I’m Kobayashi Kairi from Class 3-3,” the girl introduces herself, bowing politely. “I made you something for Valentine’s Day. I hope you like it!”

She hands him a pretty blue box, smiling brightly as she does so. Tsukishima supposes that all he can do is accept it. “Thanks,” he says awkwardly, taking the box from her.

His acceptance of her present seems to have given her confidence because she continues talking to him. “I think you’re really cool when you play volleyball. I like you the best in the team!”

He is reminded of what Yamaguchi said earlier about him not putting himself out there and he has no idea why he is actually considering it. Is he that eager to feel a _‘zing’_ with someone?

And Kobayashi is not bad looking. She is a bit on the petite side, only reaching Tsukishima’s chest. He guesses she is a bit more on the athletic side, judging from her tanned skin. Also she has long dark hair which she keeps straight and neat. Overall, she is definitely a nice girl.

“Trust me, I’m not the best,” he replies and Kobayashi gives him an encouraging smile.

“Don’t say that! You’re still a skilled player. You even went to Nationals during your first year,” Kobayashi giggles.

Tsukishima wonders if something is wrong with him. Here he has a nice girl saying nice things about him, yet he does not feel _anything_ about it.

“Anyway, I was wondering if you’re free this weekend,” Kobayashi says, rocking back and forth on her heels as she gathers up her courage. “I have two tickets to the Sendai Aquarium. Would you like to go with me?”

Tsukishima does not know what to tell her. She is very nice but he does not want to bring her down. And he definitely cannot accept her invitation or he would be leading her on. He curses himself in his head. This is probably the reason why he does not put himself out there in the first place!

Kobayashi is looking at him nervously, waiting for his reply. Before Tsukishima can think of anything to say, a familiar voice calls out his name. “Oi, Tsukishima.”

They both turn to the direction of the voice to see Kageyama, standing in front of the door leading out to the gym. He seems to have materialised out of nowhere and never has Tsukishima been so thankful for his presence. “Practice is starting soon,” he simply says before walking out the door.

“I’m sorry. The king has summoned me so I have to go,” Tsukishima tells Kobayashi, quickly walking away before she can say anything.

Well… He is definitely not doing _that_ again.

* * *

“Tsukishima! You got chocolates from Kobayashi Kairi?!” Hinata exclaims when he barges into the gym.

“It just happened. How did you even find out so fast?” Tsukishima asks, genuinely shocked.

“I got a text from my classmate who is friends with Kairi-san,” Hinata says, waving his phone. “Also, she’s like the most popular girl in our year! I can’t believe she gave _you_ Valentine’s Day chocolates!”

“Tsukki receives a lot of chocolates every year,” Yamaguchi adds on from the side, smiling innocently as he adds spice to the conversation. “Though I think this would be his first time receiving it from someone personally.”

The first and second years seem to find this piece of information intriguing because they look at Tsukishima with literal stars in their eyes. “Eh?! Tsukki-senpai is actually popular?” Akiyama, their second year middle blocker with a lack of filter, exclaims. Tsukishima has always found him annoying but Yamaguchi reminds him that despite this, he still has a soft spot for his kouhai (and Tsukishima hates that he is right).

“Tsukki-senpai, you’re so cool!” Jinki, their baby-faced first year setter, praises him.

Tsukishima flushes in embarrassment as his kouhais keep praising and complimenting him. “Yamaguchi, make them get back to practice!” he tells the captain but Yamaguchi only laughs and waves him off.

“Jinki, come practice your tosses with me,” Kageyama suddenly calls out from where he is standing at the net. “The rest of you can start with spiking drills when you’re ready.”

“Yes!” the first and second years reply, immediately dispersing to run towards the court. Tsukishima sighs in relief as he watches the kouhais get into their positions. This would be the second time Kageyama has saved him today. The kouhais seem to listen very well to Kageyama and Tsukishima is reminded of little ducklings when he looks at them. He catches Kageyama looking at him, but the setter immediately turns away to focus on the kouhais.

“Oh yeah, Tsukishima. What was your reply to Kairi-san?” Hinata asks once the first and second years have left.

“The king called me before I could say anything,” Tsukishima tells him. Well, Hinata does not have to know that Tsukishima actually did not have a reply for her but what he said is not entirely a lie.

“You’re… so weird.” Hinata looks at Tsukishima as if he is a disappointment and Tsukishima glares at him back. “Anyway, knowing Kairi-san, she will probably approach you again until she gets her answer. She’s really persistent when she starts to like someone.”

“Speaking of Kageyama, he received a lot of Valentine’s Day chocolates today too,” Hinata grumbles, folding his arms to his chest. “Apparently he got a lot of confessions too after we went to Nationals. He said he doesn’t like turning people down so he still goes out on dates with the people who ask him. I don’t get it! What do girls see in you two grumpy jerks?!”

“Some girls find the cold and aloof types attractive,” Yachi supplies helpfully. “A lot of the girls in my class talk about Kageyama-kun and Tsukishima-kun.”

Hinata proceeds to sulk in the corner upon hearing this information. “Nice guys… finish last…”

“Hey, Hinata! That’s not entirely true!” Yamaguchi tells him, putting his arms around Yachi in a backhug. Yachi smiles and slips her hands into Yamaguchi’s. “Eventually you’ll meet that someone who makes every day special for you.”

Hinata looks at them with literal tears in his eyes, touched by Yamaguchi’s words and feeling more hopeful than ever. There is that feeling again bubbling inside Tsukishima’s chest as he looks at Yamaguchi and Yachi, laughing together at something Hinata says. He wants to know what _that_ feels like but at the same time, he does not want to lead anyone on. He knows he can be an asshole but he is not that big of an asshole.

Tsukishima’s gaze wanders to where Kageyama is standing at the court. He is commenting on the kouhais’ spiking forms, looking very serious as he addresses each one of them. Tsukishima is reminded of what Hinata says and suddenly an idea pops up in his head.

* * *

In his defence, he did not really have enough time to think through the logistics of this plan because Coach Ukai came and practice officially started after that.

When practice ends and everyone is dismissed, Tsukishima bribes the kouhais and Hinata with all the chocolates he got that day, telling them that he left them in the clubroom. Once Hinata and the kouhais have left the gym, Tsukishima turns to where the two captains and Yachi are discussing training plans with Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei.

“Oh? Where did the rest go?” Yamaguchi asks once they are done with their discussion. Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei wave to them as they take their leave.

“Clubroom. I let them have my chocolates,” Tsukishima tells him. “You and Yachi can have some of it too, though I’m not sure if there would be any left. I’ll help Kageyama clean up.”

Yamaguchi raises an eyebrow. “There are a lot of weird things going on with that last thing you said but... go ahead?” Even Yachi is looking at Tsukishima as if he has grown two heads but Yamaguchi takes her hand and walks her out of the gym.

The plan is working perfectly so far. All he needs to do now is talk to Kageyama which is to be frank the part he has the least confidence in. Tsukishima takes in a deep breath and walks over to where Kageyama is bringing down the net. He looks genuinely surprised at seeing Tsukishima still in the gym.

“Did you lose a bet with Yamaguchi?” Kageyama asks.

“ _Ha ha_ ,” Tsukishima replies monotonously. “I just… want to thank you for helping me out today.”

Kageyama nearly breaks the lever on the pole and does a double take. “Who are you and what have you done to Tsukishima?” he asks, horrified.

Tsukishima rolls his eyes. “I’m still me, stupid,” he retorts. “Is your majesty too out of reach to even accept a thank you?”

“The number of times you’ve thanked me since we’ve known each other is less than the fingers I have on one hand,” Kageyama deadpans. “What do you want?”

Tsukishima grits his teeth. Dealing with Kageyama has always been in the top 3 of the list of things he hates about volleyball. He hates how Kageyama never fails to make him tick, like he is born to annoy the fuck out of Tsukishima.

“I have something to ask, but you’re not obliged to say yes,” Tsukishima tells him.

“When you’re the one asking something from me, I feel like I should say yes,” Kageyama replies, folding his arms to his chest.

This plan is already falling apart. Tsukishima is at his wit’s end and he just wants to tear out his whole head. It is a bad idea when Kageyama is the solution to the problem he is facing.

 _He has to do this. He is just going to have to suck it up._ Tsukishima takes in another deep breath. “I heard that you’ve been getting a lot of confessions lately. And knowing you, you probably don’t like having to turn them down.”

“Is that why you were having a hard time turning down that girl earlier?” Kageyama asks.

Tsukishima stiffens. So Kageyama did notice what happened. “I just... didn’t know what to say,” Tsukishima admits in a small voice. “I didn’t want to lead her on.”

“She’s probably gonna keep asking you again until you say no,” Kageyama says. “What are you gonna do then?”

“I’m gonna ask you to be my fake boyfriend for the whole of Valentine’s week,” Tsukishima says, unsure of where this false confidence is coming from. Also, the idea sounded much better in his head but it is too late to turn back now.

Kageyama gives him a look, as if wondering if this is the real Tsukishima instead of an imposter. “You want _me_ to be your fake boyfriend? Did you run out of options or something?”

“Something like that,” Tsukishima replies. “Yamaguchi and Yachi aren’t available. Hinata can’t keep a secret. The first and second years are out of the question. The only person left I can ask is you.”

“It’ll benefit the both of us,” Tsukishima adds. “We both have an easy way out of confessions for Valentine’s week. But like I said, you don’t have to-”

“I’ll do it,” Kageyama says, looking straight at Tsukishima as he does so. His blue eyes are piercing, making Tsukishima look away from the intensity of his stare.

“Man, your majesty… You didn’t have to agree so fast…” Tsukishima mutters. He did not expect Kageyama to agree so readily. He was hoping that while convincing Kageyama, he would be able to convince himself that this was a good idea too.

“Like you said, I don’t like turning down confessions,” Kageyama replies, rolling up the net and placing it in the ball trolley. “So, how are we gonna do this?”

Before Tsukishima can reply, Hinata barges into the gym and yells, “Oi Kageyama! What’s taking you so long? Hurry up! We want to get meat buns.”

Sometimes it amazes Tsukishima how big Hinata’s stomach is. Akiyama is a solid contender, eating portions as huge as Hinata’s, but the real food fighter of the team is their baby-faced Jinki, who has even won Kageyama in an eating competition.

“You guys go ahead, I don’t feel like having meat buns today,” Kageyama tells him.

“Alright, suit yourself! See ya tomorrow!” Hinata yells before walking off.

Kageyama turns to Tsukishima, who is still standing at the same spot. “How about we go somewhere nice for our first date?”

* * *

“Okay, let’s come up with ground rules,” Tsukishima suggests, pulling out an empty piece of paper and a pen from his bag. “Obviously the first one is that we need to break up after this week.”

They are at a small café a few minutes away from school, which is seemingly a good place for a date. At least, Tsukishima assumes it is since Yamaguchi and Yachi keep talking about it. There are a lot of high school students from nearby schools so Tsukishima and Kageyama still manage to blend in with the crowd. As Tsukishima is writing the words on the paper, Kageyama puts down his drink on the table. “You’re getting me lunch for the whole week we’re dating,” he says.

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow, looking at Kageyama and wondering if he is joking but Kageyama looks dead serious. “Delivered to my table,” he adds on.

“You’re really pushing it, king” Tsukishima twitches, gritting his teeth.

Kageyama crosses his arms to the back of his head, a shadow of a grin dancing on his lips. “Do you want to date me or not?” he asks.

Tsukishima sighs and shakes his head. “I guess it’s a given that a king would have a lot of demands.”

Kageyama narrows his eyes. “Can we make it a rule that you can’t call me ‘king’ for this week too?”

“Why not?” Tsukishima asks.

“Shouldn’t you be calling me by a pet name?” Kageyama retorts. “I don’t think people will be convinced that we’re dating if you keep making fun of me.”

Tsukishima taps his pen on the table as he looks at Kageyama with a teasing grin. “‘King’ can be a pet name too.”

Kageyama bristles in his seat when Tsukishima writes _‘Pet names that are acceptable: King’_ on the piece of paper.

“What else can we include?” Tsukishima asks, looking at the paper. He notices that Kageyama has been quiet for a while so he looks up to see the other boy staring at him.

“You have that face when you’re focusing too hard during a match,” Kageyama points out. “Why are you thinking so hard?”

Tsukishima feels his face getting hot. What does Kageyama mean by that?

“Do you even have any dating experience?” Kageyama asks, looking at Tsukishima intently.

Tsukishima’s shoulders stiffen and he avoids looking at Kageyama. The other boy takes the pen and paper from him and writes something down. He passes the paper back to Tsukishima, who takes a glance at it. _‘Whatever we tell each other during this week stays in this week’_.

“I don’t really care whether you’ve dated anyone or not,” Kageyama replies. “I just want to know what your idea of dating is so I know what your expectations are.”

Tsukishima sighs. He has no idea whether he should even be opening up to Kageyama but at the same time he does not think the other boy is malicious enough to use things against him.

Even if he is an annoying asshole.

Kageyama is holding his drink, still with his eyes on him. Tsukishima has no idea why he is suddenly compelled to spill his deepest insecurities to Kageyama. Maybe it is those hypnotising blue eyes that Tsukishima has _just_ noticed. He has known the setter for three years but he only now realised how beguiling they are.

 _Wait what_ -

Tsukishima clears his throat, suddenly hyper aware of his thoughts. He needs to get a grip of himself before something bad happens. “I’ve... never dated anyone before,” Tsukishima says slowly, not really trusting the words coming out of his mouth at this point. “It’s just something that I never really thought was necessary.”

“But then Yamaguchi and Yachi started dating and it just made me feel… _something_. I’ve always known that they liked each other, I was the guy in the middle anyway, but when they finally got together I guess I got a bit jealous.”

Kageyama frowns. “Do you have feelings for either of them?”

“No, I don’t,” Tsukishima replies as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, I would go out of my way for them but there’s no _‘zing’_ with either of them.”

He only realises his words after he has said them and he quickly covers his mouth with his hand, freezing in place. _Shit! He cannot believe he just mentioned the ‘zing’ thing in front of Kageyama._

The other boy is tilting his head curiously, obviously having heard the word Tsukishima used. “ _‘Zing’_?” Kageyama repeats.

Tsukishima drags his hand to mess with his hair in embarrassment. “Don’t ask me to explain it.”

“Okay,” Kageyama simply replies. “It’s from that animation with the vampire running that hotel, right?”

Tsukishima wants to retract from this conversation and evaporate into thin air. “Yes…”

He expects Kageyama to provide a snarky remark or even laugh but he surprises Tsukishima by merely nodding like he completely gets it. Tsukishima is the one weirded out at this point. “That’s it?”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow. “Do you want me to say something?”

“Y-ye- No- I-” Tsukishima lets out a confused whine. “I don’t know?”

Then Kageyama does something that makes Tsukishima’s brain malfunction. He _smiles_. And it is not that sad excuse of a smile he attempted back in first year. He is actually smiling and making his pretty face look even prettier.

Tsukishima feels something foreign stirring in his chest for the first time and he thinks to himself _fuck, what has he gotten himself into?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title taken from eden's sex
> 
> this was supposed to be a one-shot but as i was writing this i ended up giving myself a shock at the wordcount... so i decided to make it into a chaptered fic. welcome to the roller coaster ride! : ' )
> 
> (apologies in advance if this is ooc as heck i tried ;;;;;)


	2. tuesday

The next day after the lunch bell rings, Tsukishima stashes away the chocolates in his locker and pulls out two lunchboxes. Yamaguchi looks at him with his mouth open. “Tsukki, since when do you eat that much!?” he asks, eyes wide in surprise.

“I’m not gonna eat all of them,” Tsukishima grumbles. “Which class is the king in again?”

Yamaguchi tilts his head. “Kageyama? He’s in 3-1.  _ Hey, Tsukki- _ ”

Tsukishima quickly walks off to avoid Yamaguchi’s questions. He does not even know where to start if his best friend were to ask him what is going on. Yamaguchi is able to tell straight away if there is something different about him. Would he let Yamaguchi in on the fake-dating thing? But Tsukishima has no idea whether Kageyama would be okay with that. Would they be able to keep this up in front of Yamaguchi, Yachi and Hinata?

“Hey, you’ve been standing in front of our classroom for awhile. Are you here for someone?” a boy asks him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Uhh.. Is Kageyama in?” Tsukishima asks. He is aware that he is attracting attention from the eyes and whispers around him.

The boy points to where Kageyama is sitting next to the window, his head propped up on his elbow and facing Tsukishima. He wonders if Kageyama has been watching him space out outside the classroom and thinks that it is so typical of Kageyama to wait for people to approach him first.

Tsukishima mumbles a thank you and walks towards Kageyama, placing the lunchbox his mother had packed on his table. She was surprised when he requested her to pack two lunchboxes this morning but did so without any questions. She is probably going to ask him about it when he gets home anyway. Kageyama looks at the lunchbox wrapped with the shiba-printed cloth, genuinely intrigued. “Your mom packed this?” he asks, holding the lunchbox as if it is precious cargo.

“Yeah? Have you never seen a homemade packed lunch before?” Tsukishima raises an eyebrow.

“I thought you were just gonna get me an onigiri or something,” Kageyama says, still very much amazed by the lunchbox.

Tsukishima huffs. “As if I don’t know how much  _ my boyfriend _ can eat in a day.” He says it loud enough for the people watching them to hear and immediately the whispers start again.

Tsukishima’s phone beeps and he sees a string of texts from Yamaguchi on his screen.

**Yamaguchi (12:37)**

So… 

Is Kageyama joining us for lunch?

Also, you owe me an explanation!!!

“Come on, king. Yamaguchi and Yachi are waiting for us at our lunch spot,” Tsukishima tells Kageyama, grabbing his hand.

The eyes and the whispers follow him and Kageyama throughout as they leave the classroom and make their way to the rooftop. 

_ Things are going as planned _ , Tsukishima thinks.

* * *

“You guys are  _ dating _ ?!” Yachi gasps.

Tsukishima looks at Kageyama, who is inhaling the food in his lunchbox. “I guess we are.”

Yachi looks so confused that it makes Tsukishima feel bad. He forgot to consider Yachi’s puppy eyes in his plans and he swears to himself that he will get Yachi lots of stationery once this is all over. “But- How?  _ When _ ?!” Yachi exclaims. “You guys always end up arguing when you talk to each other!

“We got over it quickly once we found out how compatible we are,” Tsukishima recites his rehearsed answer to which Kageyama snorts. Tsukishima glares at him.

“See! There’s that!” Yachi gestures to the both of them. “You guys aren’t just playing a prank, are you?”

“Now why would we do that, Yacchan? Even though Tsukishima’s an asshole, I still find him cute,” Kageyama says, making Tsukishima splutter in frustration.

“Hey, take that back!” Tsukishima crosses his arms to his chest and Kageyama chuckles in response.

“Sorry, baby,” Kageyama smirks, making Tsukishima’s face turn so red he thinks that he might self-combust. He should have taken ‘ _ baby _ ’ off the list of acceptable pet names. Yamaguchi watches them quietly, raising an eyebrow when he realises something.

“Tsukki has finally graduated from the ‘single-since-birth’ club,” Yamaguchi says with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

Tsukishima wants to fling himself off that rooftop as his best friend cackles. Thankfully Kageyama does not comment on that, too invested in his lunch. Tsukishima wonders what is it that has gotten Kageyama so occupied and he looks at his lunchbox to only see the rice and chicken curry his mother had made. Maybe Kageyama is just happy that he got something more than an onigiri.

“Kageyama-kun, you must be really happy that Tsukishima-kun packed lunch for you today, huh?” Yachi asks, smiling fondly at Kageyama.

Kageyama looks up from his food, his blue eyes blinking owlishly. “It’s been awhile since I’ve had home-cooked food.”

“Ah, right! Your parents are always busy so they must have rarely cooked too,” Yachi says.

Tsukishima is surprised by this fact as he is only hearing this for the first time. He has always thought that Kageyama’s life would be quite regular, save for the intense obsession with volleyball. Come to think of it, Tsukishima does not even know much about Kageyama outside of school. The idea that Kageyama has this whole other part of him that Tsukishima does not know about makes him curious. And for some reason, he really wants to get to know Kageyama more.

So he listens to Kageyama and Yachi talk about everything and anything, unbeknownst that he is being watched by a pair of knowing eyes.

By the end of the day, word has gotten around that the two ice princes of Karasuno High School are dating each other. Tsukishima notices when he is going home that the number of chocolates in his locker have reduced significantly. He cannot help but snicker at how well the plan is going.

“Why does this look like you and Kageyama planned this so you two can get out from confessions during Valentine’s week?” Yamaguchi asks, suddenly appearing behind Tsukishima.

Tsukishima feels his blood going cold. “What do you mean?” he asks as calmly as possible.

Yamaguchi shrugs. “Well, some might think that you two are pretending to date just to avoid people asking you out.”

Tsukishima lets out a fake laugh, putting all his effort to make it believable. “Are you saying that the king and I are actually pretending to have feelings for each other?”

His best friend looks at him in silence for a while before laughing as well. “Right, right. You wouldn’t date anyone if you didn’t feel a  _ ‘zing’ _ for them anyway. I’m still shocked that it’s Kageyama, though.”

Tsukishima is now surprised for different reasons. How does Yamaguchi know that  _ that  _ is what he feels for Kageyama? Even Tsukishima has no idea and it is  _ his _ feelings that they are talking about. “How can you tell?”

The other boy chuckles. “Tsukki, it’s written all over your face when you look at him.”

“You really do like him, don’t you?”

* * *

Yamaguchi’s words stay in Tsukishima’s mind as he walks back home by himself. Does Tsukishima like Kageyama? Just a few days ago he can confidently say that he hates Kageyama’s guts but after today, he feels a bit conflicted. He definitely still hates how Kageyama is so demanding and infuriating, that is for sure. But he does not really know how he feels about the understanding and appreciative Kageyama he saw yesterday and today.

He is walking home alone today because Yamaguchi and Yachi went off on an after-school date. Meanwhile, Kageyama is nowhere to be found and Tsukishima cannot be bothered to look for him. They may be fake-dating but there is only so much of Kageyama that Tsukishima can stand in a day (even if he has just discovered  _ feelings  _ for him). 

He shivers as the cold February wind blows towards him and he curses as he remembers that he left his scarf in his locker because his head has been in the clouds the whole day.  _ He is such a mess.. _ .

“Tsukishima-kun!”

Tsukishima hears a familiar voice from behind him and turns to see Kobayashi, waving to him. He is surprised to run into her so soon, especially outside of school.

“You’re on your way home?” Kobayashi asks, jogging up towards him.

“Yeah. My house is just down the road,” Tsukishima replies, tucking his arms together to minimise the effects of the cold.

“Kageyama-kun doesn’t walk home with you?” Kobayashi asks almost immediately, as if that was the thing she has been wanting to ask.

Tsukishima shrugs. “I didn’t really ask him what he was up to. He might be practicing his sets with Hinata.”

Kobayashi frowns. “That’s selfish of him. Shouldn’t he be with you instead?”

A sudden rush of annoyance overcomes him and he furrows his eyebrows at Kobayashi’s words. “Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean that he’s not allowed to do his own thing,” Tsukishima says to her, fidgeting on his feet.

“I’ve heard stories about Kageyama-kun from my friends who dated him,” Kobayashi tells him. “They say that he only dates people to have someone by his side but he’s emotionally unavailable.”

Tsukishima stiffens, biting back a frown. He feels his heart clench in his chest but he forces himself to ignore it. “You don’t know that. He just cares in a different way,” Tsukishima retorts. He is surprised that he is even defending Kageyama when he has no confidence over what he just said. 

“If he really cares about you he wouldn’t let you walk alone in the cold like this,” Kobayashi replies, digging into her bag for something. She produces a heat pack and holds it out to Tsukishima. “Here. You’re freezing.”

Tsukishima looks at the heat pack she has offered. He is too bothered by what she said about Kageyama to consider her kindness. He does not know why he is so affected by this conversation when he knows that his relationship with Kageyama is fake.

As if he knows when people are talking shit about him, Kageyama appears behind them. “Tsukishima,” he calls out calmly. “You forgot your scarf in class. Were you zoning out again?”

Both Tsukishima and Kobayashi are surprised by his sudden appearance. Kageyama walks past Kobayashi, ignoring her outstretched hand, and wraps the scarf around Tsukishima’s neck. Tsukishima’s arms drop to his sides while Kageyama adjusts the scarf for him. He feels warm not from the scarf, but from the blood rushing to the tip of his ears. Once he is done, Kageyama turns to Kobayashi, who has already kept her heat pack and is looking at the both of them with an unreadable expression on her face. “Thanks for your concern for my boyfriend,” he tells her. “Though I’d appreciate it if you could stop making him uncomfortable. Just because he’s too nice to tell you off doesn’t mean that it’s okay.”

Kobayashi reddens and looks away in embarrassment. Kageyama slips his hand into Tsukishima’s and pulls him away before Kobayashi can even recover to say anything else.

* * *

Kageyama is still holding onto Tsukishima’s hand even when they are already out of Kobayashi’s sight. The both of them are quiet throughout and Tsukishima’s eyes are on their locked hands as Kageyama is leading in front of him. Kageyama’s hand is warm and Tsukishima wonders how it is that holding hands is able to make his whole body feel like a furnace.

“Do you even know the way to my house?” Tsukishima finally asks.

“Of course I don’t!” Kageyama snaps. “I have no idea where we are.”

Tsukishima rolls his eyes and tugs at Kageyama’s hand, now being the one to lead him. They walk in relative silence again before Kageyama clears his throat. “Kobayashi seems really persistent to make you date her,” he points out. “Is it that difficult to say that you already have a boyfriend?”

Tsukishima turns to look at him. “What, are you jealous?”

The other boy snickers. “Over you? What is there to be jealous about?”

Tsukishima actually laughs, remembering that this is still a fake relationship and that Kageyama still probably hates him. He does not make a remark and just walks ahead.

Only for Kageyama to pull his hand and stop him.

“She said something else, didn’t she?” Kageyama asks warily.

Tsukishima lets out a sigh and turns to him again. “So what if she did? Do I have to tell you?”

“We agreed on it,” Kageyama reminds him. “You tell me when I ask you about it and whatever we tell each other during this week stays in this week.”

“Will you tell me things if I were to ask you about it too?” Tsukishima asks him straight on. He feels Kageyama’s blue eyes scanning his face, trying to figure him out. Tsukishima wonders if he is not the only one with these thoughts in his head.

“Of course,” Kageyama replies, his voice unwavering. “It’s a two-way thing.”

Tsukishima turns to face him completely and looks at their joined hands again. Kageyama’s palm is roughly the same size as Tsukishima’s, but the other boy’s fingers are slender at just the right length whereas his own are just too long. Tsukishima cannot believe it. Even his stupid hands are pretty. 

“Kobayashi told me that you have a reputation of being emotionally unavailable,” he tells Kageyama.

He can tell that the other boy expected this to come up because he lightly squeezes Tsukishima’s hand. “Does it bother you?” Kageyama asks, looking Tsukishima straight in the eye.

“It doesn’t,” Tsukishima tells him, hoping that if he says it out loud he might believe himself. “But I want to know what she meant by that.” He searches for any signs of hesitation in Kageyama’s eyes.

He still does not waver.

“It means exactly as she said,” Kageyama replies. “I give only what I want but I’ll keep taking what I’m given. Eventually it exhausts the other person because they’re not receiving what they expected in return.”

A practiced smile appears on Kageyama’s lips. “That’s exactly what my idea of dating is.” 

It troubles Tsukishima that his eyes tell a completely different story. Whoever said Kageyama Tobio does not show his emotions has never looked into his eyes. There is an entire ocean of emotions in those eyes of his but alas, Tsukishima is barely keeping himself afloat in those lonely blue orbs.

And he does not know what compels him to decide this, but he will remember the confusion that passes those eyes when he tells him, “You’re having dinner at my place today.”

* * *

Tsukishima all but drags Kageyama to his house, ignoring his resistance and protests. His mother is going to get a shock. He never brings friends home with the exception of Yamaguchi, so she is _definitely_ going to question him later. Well, it is a little too late to turn back when he already has Kageyama standing awkwardly at the genkan of his house.

“I’m home,” Tsukishima calls out, toeing off his shoes. Kageyama mimics his actions, even reluctantly slipping his feet into the house slippers Tsukishima puts in front of him.

“Welcome home, Kei,” his mother’s voice replies, she is probably somewhere in the living room reading her books again.

Sure enough, she is sitting on the sofa with a book and the neighbourhood cat Mako-chan curled up in her lap. “Honey, did you really eat both your lunchboxes today?” she immediately asks when she sees him. “You gave the other one to someone else didn’t you? If you told me earlier I could’ve-”

She gasps when she sees Kageyama peek out from behind Tsukishima. “ _ Oh. _ ”

Mako-chan jumps off of her lap as she stands up to greet Kageyama. “I’m sorry,” she says with a smile. “I didn’t know that Kei brought a guest home. And you are…?”

Kageyama politely bows to Tsukishima’s mother. “Kageyama Tobio. We’re in the same volleyball team.”

“He’s my… friend,” Tsukishima adds lamely. “He’s staying for dinner.”

Tsukishima does not know why his cheeks flush when his mother excitedly puts her hands together, looking so happy. “Ah, welcome, Kageyama-kun!” his mother sounds too excited and Tsukishima wishes he can become one with the floor right now. “It’s just so rare for Kei to bring home a friend, sometimes we even worry if he didn’t have any.”

“I  _ do  _ have friends, mom,” Tsukishima grumbles but his mother is waving him off and already introducing Kageyama to Mako-chan.

“Mako-chan, look! This is Kei’s friend, Kageyama-kun,” his mother tells the bright-eyed grey cat which is observing Kageyama curiously. “Kageyama-kun, I hope you’re not scared of cats. Mako-chan is a real sweetheart and she’s very friendly too.”

Tsukishima cannot help but smile as he watches his mother urge Kageyama to pet Mako-chan. She must probably be happy to have another person to talk to in the house. He knows how lonely she gets when his father is away on business and both him and Akiteru are busy with school and work. Sometimes she occupies herself with many hobbies to not feel so alone and it helps that Mako-chan drops by sometimes to keep her company too. That was what Tsukishima recognised when he saw Kageyama’s eyes and it makes him wonder how long has it been since the other boy felt that way. Kageyama’s shoulders have relaxed considerably and he is cautiously making friends with Mako-chan while Tsukishima’s mother eggs him on.

Something stirs in his chest but he tucks it aside and chooses to ignore it. 

“Is dinner ready, mom? I’ll help set the table,” he tells his mother.

“Kei! You don’t have to be so helpful just because your friend is around,” his mother fusses, standing up and walking to the kitchen. Tsukishima panics when his mother pushes him to accompany Kageyama in the living room. “Be a good host.”

He sighs in resignation as his mother busies herself with preparing the table for dinner. Kageyama is engrossed with Mako-chan, his blue eyes practically sparkling when the cat rolls onto her back and shows him her tummy. The way Kageyama carefully drags his fingers across Mako-chan’s grey fur makes Tsukishima snicker.

“You look like you’ve never pet a cat before,” Tsukishima says to him, sinking down next to Kageyama on the floor.

“All the cats I tried to pet would run away from me,” Kageyama replies, quickly retracting his hand when Mako-chan purrs and stretches her long body.

Tsukishima laughs when Mako-chan looks at Kageyama as if asking  _ ‘why did you stop, human? _ ’. Tsukishima takes Kageyama’s hand and places it on Mako-chan’s head. “She likes it when you scratch behind her ears,” he tells him.

Mako-chan purrs in content when Kageyama starts to do just that. This damn scene is already triggering the nagging feeling in Tsukishima’s chest again, but then Kageyama just  _ had to _ smile that stupid pretty smile of his. 

His chest physically  _ hurts _ . He cannot believe he thought that this whole fake-dating thing was a good idea. He is also the dumb one who took it a step further and invited Kageyama here. If anything, he has to face the consequences of his own actions.  _ Way to go, Tsukishima _ .

“Dinner is ready!” his mother calls out, thankfully giving Tsukishima a reason to tear himself away from the scene. He makes it a note in his head to help with the dishes later.

* * *

“Kageyama-kun, please take more food. You look like you haven’t eaten all day!”

“Mom, don’t encourage him,” Tsukishima sighs, watching as his mother puts more egg rolls on Kageyama’s plate. “He had a big lunch earlier.”

“Your cooking is really good, Tsukishima-san,” Kageyama praises her. “The lunchbox I ate this afternoon was really-”

Tsukishima stuffs an egg roll into Kageyama’s mouth to stop him from talking.  _ Of all the things to say! _ Kageyama glares at him but he is too busy to notice it because his mother looks as if she is putting the pieces together in her head.

“ _ Ah _ ,” she finally says. “You ate the lunchbox Kei gave you?”

Kageyama nods innocently while Tsukishima hides his face from his mother.  _ Oh, she is going to have a field day _ .

“Did you finish everything? Kei is such a small eater so he’s always bringing home leftovers,” his mother tells Kageyama, excited that someone else is also eating the food she cooked.

Kageyama nods again. “It’s been a long time since I had home-cooked food so I think I ate it a bit too fast,” he says to her.

“Your parents don’t cook at home?” the elder Tsukishima asks.

Kageyama shrugs his shoulders. “They’re always away on business trips so most of the time I’m home alone.” 

“Oh,” the elder Tsukishima sighs, worry etched in her forehead. “What about siblings? Do you have any?”

“I have an older sister but she has her own place,” Kageyama tells her. “So most of the time I’ll just eat out with her or bring food back home.”

Tsukishima had no idea about any of this. While he is glad that he found out a bit more about Kageyama today, he is troubled by the fact that the other boy is saying all of this with a straight face.

This time he does not say anything when his mother puts more rice onto Kageyama’s plate. She seems to have already taken it upon herself to make sure Kageyama is well fed. “Do you have anything that you’d like to eat? I’ll pack another lunchbox for you tomorrow so you can eat more.”

“W- Wha-” Kageyama is at a loss for words so Tsukishima pipes up in his stead. “He really liked the curry.”

“Would curry for tomorrow be good, Kageyama-kun?” Tsukishima’s mother asks.

The other boy stares at her in bewilderment but eventually he manages to find his words. “Curry’s perfect. Thank you, Tsukishima-san”

His mother smiles, the one Tsukishima recognises to hold so much care and affection. It is the smile she gives when she looks at someone she really likes and approves of. “You’re welcome to have dinner at our house every other day, Kageyama-kun.”

* * *

“I didn’t know that you had a cat,” Kageyama says as they left Tsukishima’s house. “You don’t seem like a cat person.”

“Mako-chan is not a house cat,” Tsukishima says, jamming his hands into his thick hoodie. “She’s a stray in the neighbourhood but everyone spoils her with food and treats. She comes by our house a lot to keep my mom company.”

They are walking down the street towards Sakanoshita because Tsukishima is pretty sure that Kageyama would get lost if he let the other boy walk home from his house alone (And no, it is not because Tsukishima is a romantic-  _ look, he cannot help it, okay?! _ ).

“Your mom’s really nice,” Kageyama hums. “I can’t believe that you just told her to pack an extra lunchbox out of the blue.”

“Well, you weren’t complaining about it this afternoon,” Tsukishima retorts. “At least she knows now so expect an even bigger lunchbox tomorrow.”

Kageyama goes quiet for a while and Tsukishima glances at him to see him frowning at the ground. “You know, you can just ignore that rule about getting me lunch for this whole week,” he tells Tsukishima in a small voice.

A cold breeze passes by them and Tsukishima clenches his fists in his hoodie, longing for the warmth from holding hands. “We agreed on it,” Tsukishima replies. “Anyway, I don’t think my mom minds. She’s happy when she cooks for someone.”

They walk until they come in view of Sakanoshita and they stop conveniently under the light of a lamp post. “Thanks for today,” Kageyama mumbles, still looking away from Tsukishima.

“Please don’t thank me, king. It’s really weird,” Tsukishima cringes.

Kageyama laughs. “For fuck’s sake, Tsukishima. We’re pretending to be dating and you think me thanking you is weird?”

“It’s weird because you actually mean it,” Tsukishima mutters.

Kageyama’s cheeks visibly flush under the streetlight as he whips his head to look at Tsukishima with wide blue eyes. Tsukishima gazes back at him and he finds himself moving closer to brush Kageyama’s bangs out of his eyes. The other boy’s skin is warm and if Tsukishima’s fingers linger on Kageyama’s face for a bit longer than necessary, they both do not say anything. “I don’t get why they say that you’re emotionally unavailable,” Tsukishima whispers, audible enough for Kageyama to hear.

Something unfamiliar glazes over those blue eyes as Kageyama drops his gaze from Tsukishima’s eyes to something else on his face but it quickly disappears as the other boy pulls himself away, biting his lip.

Tsukishima did not even realise that he had been holding in his breath.  _ Did he just imagine that? _

“See you tomorrow,” Kageyama says, turning and walking away before Tsukishima can even react.

_ What the fuck just happened? _

* * *

He walks home in a daze, replaying the scene from earlier over and over in his head. When he reaches home, his mother is still awake, preparing the ingredients to cook for tomorrow morning. “Did you walk Kageyama-kun all the way to Coach Ukai’s shop?” she asks him.

“Yeah. He knows how to get home from there,” Tsukishima replies, sinking into one of the dining chairs, exhausted from thinking too much.

He drops his arm on the table and rests his head on it, watching his mother move about in the kitchen. She is humming to herself, which is a good sign. He would rather his mother be happy about cooking for someone than spiraling about who to cook for. His eyelids are starting to get rather heavy and his vision starts to blur even with his glasses on. He yawns, getting his mother’s attention on him. “Honey, if you’re sleepy you should go to bed,” she gently tells him.

“Not sleepy,” Tsukishima grumbles, sitting up and taking off his glasses to rub his eyes. “I can still keep you company.”

His mother chuckles and shakes her head, continuing where she left off. Tsukishima sleepily blinks. “Hey, mom. Do you remember telling me about immediately knowing the feeling when I meet that person?” he asks her.

She hums in reply. “What about it, my dear?”

“I found a person,” Tsukishima continues, folding his arms on the table and cushioning his head on them. “But I don’t know if what I’m feeling for him is really a  _ ‘zing’ _ .”

“And why do you say that?” his mother asks, finishing the last of her chores.

“My chest is always in pain whenever I’m around him. Certainly that feeling shouldn’t be so troublesome, right?” he mumbles drowsily.

His mother washes her hands and dries them on the kitchen towel. She turns around to find him fast asleep on the dinner table, snoring lightly into his arms. She smiles and runs her fingers in his messy golden hair.

“Sounds to me like it is definitely a  _ ‘zing’ _ ,” she softly says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay tuesday turned out to be longer than i thought it would be lmao
> 
> also i am so touched by the kudos and comments??? after just the first chapter??? thank you so much guys??? ; A ;
> 
> hope you guys liked this chapter!! it was really fun to write tsukishima's relationship with his mother and there is definitely a reason as to why he is familiar to what loneliness looks like : ' )))


	3. wednesday

**Kageyama (15:02)**

Hey can you lend me your sweatshirt for practice later?

**Me (15:03)**

Why?

**Kageyama (15:03)**

I forgot to pack an extra shirt

**Me (15:04)**

You forgot to pack an extra shirt?

You???

Forgot???

For practice???

**Kageyama (15:04)**

Oi

I reached home late yesterday okay

**Me (15:04)**

Mako-chan really got you good didn’t she

**Kageyama (15:05)**

Mako-chan is such a charming cat

No wonder your neighbourhood spoils her

**Me (15:06)**

You’ve fallen into her trap

The next time she’s gonna make you want to stay over

And then you will never want to leave

**Kageyama (15:09)**

Doesn’t sound bad

At least you’d be there too

**Kageyama (15:20)**

Did you die?

So will you lend me your sweatshirt?

**Me (15:21)**

Ya ok

**Kageyama (15:21)**

Ok thanks baby

*Tsukishima

*Tsukishima big baby

**Me (15:22)**

Do you want to die?

* * *

It is a bit comical to watch Kageyama walk around the gym wearing Tsukishima’s oversized sweatshirt. It is hard to get clothes that fit him properly because he is tall, so he always ends up getting his shirts a size bigger. He likes to layer his shirts anyway so he does not look too skinny in his own clothing. Kageyama however is _drowning_ in Tsukishima’s sweatshirt.

While his shoulders and chest are broad and fill up the top half, he has a small waist and his limbs are still shorter than Tsukishima’s. He has to bunch up the sleeves to his elbows and the sweatshirt ends halfway where his shorts do. The setter is by no means a small person, but today he looks especially tiny.

“Kageyama-senpai, we can’t take you seriously like this,” Akiyama says, stiffening a laugh.

“Would you rather I not wear a shirt?” Kageyama asks, raising an eyebrow.

“ _No_ ,” the kouhais reply altogether, turning red in the face.

“Oi Kageyama! Don’t thirst trap the kouhais!” Hinata yells at him, throwing a volleyball his way for even suggesting such a thing.

Tsukishima is sitting with Jinki, helping the first year tape his fingers because he is the only person who practices it in the team. “Tsukishima-senpai, do you also find Kageyama-senpai’s body attractive?” the first year setter innocently asks.

Tsukishima huffs. “We’ve already known each other for 3 years. Kageyama’s always looked the same to me.”

“But you just started dating him this week. Maybe something has changed,” Jinki shrugs.

Whether they are really dating or not, Tsukishima has to give Jinki some credit. Something has changed this week, and it is in how Tsukishima has started _noticing_ Kageyama. He knows that the latter is conventionally handsome, which explains the dates he has gone to over the years, but he only now realises just how handsome Kageyama is. The other boy is built and has all the right proportions, and do not get Tsukishima started on his stupid pretty face. He does not want to admit that he has been thinking about blue eyes and pretty fingers and warm skin and-

“Tsukishima-senpai?” Jinki calls out, shaking his finger which Tsukishima is currently taping too thickly. “Tsukishima-senpai, I think that’s a bit too much tape.”

“What? _Oh_ ,” Tsukishima lets the first year tear off the tape so that he can adjust the thickness himself. Once Jinki is done, he holds up his hands and grins at his taped fingers. “Thanks, senpai!” he says to Tsukishima before running off to join the rest of the team with their warm-ups, led by captain Yamaguchi himself.

“You’re zoning out already?” Kageyama asks, taking a seat next to Tsukishima.

“Please don’t use stripping as a threat,” Tsukishima says to him. “We already had Tanaka for two years.”

Kageyama laughs. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your shirt on me.”

As Tsukishima momentarily malfunctions, Kageyama takes the finger tape from him and grabs his right hand. Tsukishima watches as the other boy runs his thumb over the scar he got during their first match with Shiratorizawa. “How do you even do this?” Kageyama asks, attempting to peel the tape with a blunt fingernail.

Tsukishima helps him peel the tape from the roll and guides Kageyama to wound it around his pointer and middle fingers separately. “Just bring it around once. It doesn’t have to be too much,” Tsukishima tells him.

It amuses Tsukishima how seriously Kageyama takes taping Tsukishima’s fingers. His eyes practically glimmer with self-pride when he checks the end result on his palm. “Not bad,” Tsukishima says to him, lining up his fingers against the gaps between Kageyama’s and loosely locking them in. 

“Wow, how smooth,” Kageyama teases, chuckling as he curls his in as well, their fingers practically interlocked.

“Hey, lovebirds! Stop flirting and get your asses into the court!” Yamaguchi yells to them, his captain mode on.

Hinata practically elbows Tsukishima when he steps into the court to get ready for their practice match. “Are you a magical creature? I’ve never seen Kageyama look so sparkly at anyone or anything other than volleyball,” Hinata muses.

“What are you talking about?” Tsukishima asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m talking about the way he looks at you,” his fellow middle blocker spells it out for him. “He looks at you the same way you look at him when you think no one else is looking. God, I can’t believe you didn’t notice this! Aren't you guys dating?”

Hinata lets out a terrified wail and recoils back when Tsukishima glares at him with an ominous aura. He tones down his intimidation when Yamaguchi narrows his eyes at the both of them from the other side of the court. Only a dumbass would have the bravery to piss captain Yamaguchi off and Tsukishima is certainly not one.

* * *

Practice ends with Hinata and Kageyama trashing the kouhais when they end up in the same team for the last set they played. Akiyama demands a rematch, getting fired up as the volleyball idiots spur him on. He is playing right into the idiots’ hands, Tsukishima sighs, knowing perfectly well that they will keep going until they get kicked out of the gym.

Kageyama however surprises him by calling it a day. “I have a crap ton of things to study for modern lit,” he hears Kageyama tell Hinata.

Hinata lets out a laugh. “If you wanna go and date, just say so! You don’t have to cover it up.”

“Idiot! I’m not covering anything up!” Kageyama retorts.

“Whipped,” Akiyama snickers.

Tsukishima does not have to look to know that Kageyama attempts a flying kick at Akiyama. He follows Yamaguchi to the clubroom and changes back to his school uniform. “What do you and Kageyama usually do after school?” Yamaguchi asks as they are changing. They are the only ones in the clubroom as the rest are still in the gym.

“I invited him over to my house yesterday,” Tsukishima tells Yamaguchi, who snickers at this information

“Your mom must have been so happy,” Yamaguchi muses. “She keeps asking me if you had any other friends other than me.”

Tsukishima rolls his eyes. “At this rate, I’m not surprised if you’re in contact with all of my family members.”

“Your dad’s still hard to get through as always but we do talk about business sometimes,” Yamaguchi jokes and Tsukishima laughs despite himself.

His best friend suddenly chuckles. “I can’t believe just this Monday you were the most eligible senior in Karasuno to spend Valentine’s Day with and now you have Kageyama.”

“But really though, Tsukki. I’m happy that someone is putting in the effort to make your day,” Yamaguchi says to him. “I’m still a bit wary about Kageyama, but I can tell that his feelings for you are genuine.”

Tsukishima wants to believe him, he really does. But the realist in him keeps reminding him to not get too ahead of himself. This is a fake relationship after all.

“So what are your Valentine’s Day plans this weekend?” Yamaguchi asks.

Tsukishima’s heart drops. _He cannot believe he forgot about Valentine’s Day weekend! Wait, does Valentine’s Day still apply to the both of them even when they are fake dating? They are only breaking up next week, right? Would it be possible to slot in a casual date on Valentine’s Day? What’s the point of dating if they are not going to go out on Valentine’s Day?!_

“ _Oh my god_. Really Tsukki, you don’t have anything planned? ” Yamguchi huffs, crossing his arms. “I can’t believe Kageyama!”

“We didn’t really talk about it,” Tsukishima says, trying to rationalise in this situation. “I guess Kageyama and I are more of the ‘go-with-the-flow’ type of people.”

Well, Kageyama is – but not him! He did plan for this whole fake-dating situation anyway but he cannot believe that he missed out the Valentine’s Day weekend out of his plans.

Once again as if he has a sixth sense for when people are talking about him, Kageyama opens the door to the clubroom. “Ah, Tsukishima. I was looking for you-”

“Kageyama! We need to talk!” Yamaguchi’s captain voice booms, pushing a bewildered Tsukishima out of the door and pulling a confused Kageyama in. “Tsukki, give us ten minutes!”

The door slams shut in front of Tsukishima’s face, leaving him outdoors on his own without even his school bag.

“H-Hey! Yamaguchi, don’t meddle with my relationship!” Tsukishima pounds his fists on the clubroom door. He sighs when he gets no response and walks down the stairs to stand next to the clubroom building.

He jams his hands into his pockets and leans against the wall. He wonders what Yamaguchi is going to talk to Kageyama about. After what happened yesterday, Tsukishima is having second thoughts about his fake-relationship with Kageyama. He is convinced that he harbours feelings for him only because they have been spending a lot of time together…. _right_? If not for this fake-dating thing, he and Kageyama would probably never even talk to each other outside of club activities. For god’s sake, Kageyama has already even met his mother. How far are they going to take this fake relationship?

“Tsukishima-kun?”

Tsukishima looks up, knowing that voice entirely well having been acquainted to it these past few days. Kobayashi is standing before him, holding a gym bag. She has probably just ended her club activities as well.

“Hey, Kobayashi,” Tsukishima greets her. “Are you on your way home?”

Kobayashi nods. She is holding the strap of her gym bag tightly, as if she is holding back on something.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” she tells Tsukishima quietly. 

Tsukishima tilts his head. “What for?”

“For saying all those things about Kageyama-kun and making you uncomfortable,” Kobayashi adds. “I really misjudged him and only listened to what other people were telling me about him.”

_They say that he only dates people to have someone by his side but he’s emotionally unavailable._

Tsukishima feels the tightness in his chest return but he chooses to ignore it. “Don’t worry about it,” he tells her, smiling gratefully. _Is it meant for himself too?_

Kobayashi seems to have brightened up, shedding the burden of guilt off her shoulders. “What are you and Kageyama-kun planning to do for Valentine’s Day?” she asks, conversation flowing more naturally.

“We actually didn’t think of anything…” Tsukishima says truthfully. “I think we were just really caught up with other stuff and it just slipped out of our minds.”

Kobayashi tilts her head in disappointment. “Eh? Is that so? But isn't the whole point of dating to go out on Valentine’s Day?”

 _Exactly!_ The romantic in Tsukishima resonates in his head.

She seems to suddenly remember something and digs around for something in her bag. She takes out an envelope and holds it out to Tsukishima. “Here! Maybe this can help.”

Tsukishima curiously takes the envelope and opens it to find two tickets to the Sendai Aquarium. This was where Kobayashi wanted to invite him to on Monday. “But don’t you want to go here with somebody?” he asks.

Kobayashi shakes her head and smiles. “I think I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it that much if it’s not somebody that I really like,” she says. “Besides, my dad works there so I’m always able to get tickets for free any time.”

Tsukishima looks at Kobayashi in awe. “Thank you, Kobayashi-san,” Tsukishima tells her, keeping the envelope in his gakuran pocket.

“Hey, Tsukishima! You’re still here?” Hinata calls out as he is exiting the gym with Akiyama, Jinki and a tall first year whose name Tsukishima does not remember (Was his name Hoshi?). Hinata gasps when he sees Kobayashi and gives her an excited wave as well. “Hi, Kairi-chan! Did you just finish track practice?”

“Hinata-kun, hello,” Kobayashi beams. “Yup! And I just bumped into Tsukishima-kun by coincidence.”

Hinata seems to be excited about talking to a pretty and popular girl like Kobayashi and even the first and second years are entranced.

As they are talking in their circle, the door to their clubroom finally opens and Yamaguchi and Kageyama file out. Kageyama is holding Tsukishima’s school bag and his eyes dart over to where Kobayashi and Tsukishima are standing close to each other. They both take the stairs down and Kageyama walks towards Tsukishima to pass his bag to him. “I was meaning to ask if you wanna come over today. My parents aren’t home,” Kageyama tells Tsukishima, in a volume loud enough for everyone in the circle to hear.

“Wow, okay, Kageyama? Modern Lit???” Hinata makes fun of him, bringing up his excuse for skipping self-practice.

“We’re gonna study, of course,” Kageyama snaps at him. “What else do you think we would do?”

“Oh man, don’t ask,” Akiyama groans, rubbing his temples while the tall first year (Hiro?) covers Jinki’s ears.

Kageyama practically glues himself to Tsukishima, standing in between Kobayashi and him, and casually slips his hand into the latter’s. Tsukishima looks at Kageyama, confused. He knows that Kageyama is unexpected, but his behaviour is straight-up deviant. The other boy keeps glancing between him and Kobayashi with an unreadable expression on his face. He then locks his eyes onto something on Tsukishima's face and Tsukishima is reminded of yesterday, when Kageyama did the same thing too. _He is acting weird_. “What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” Tsukishima asks.

“Yeah,” Kageyama replies without missing a beat and leans in to kiss Tsukishima square on the lips.

* * *

  
  


“I thought you were supposed to be a jerk,” Kageyama says as they are walking down the road away from school.

Tsukishima feels his blood pressure rising, a common sensation when he is dealing with Kageyama every other day. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you’re always such an asshole during practice,” Kageyama says, stating a fact rather than goading Tsukishima on. “But you’re so nice to Kobayashi. No wonder she’s all over you.”

Tsukishima notes that Kageyama’s tone has gotten nastier but he does not read too much into it. “She just wanted to apologise for what she said yesterday,” Tsukishima explains to him, not so sure why he is even doing this. “She felt bad about it and realised that she has misjudged you. I just accepted her apology and we talked like regular friends.”

Kageyama hums non-committedly.

They continue walking together in relative silence, accompanied by the hum of the nightingales which have just emerged with the dawn of spring. It just dawns on Tsukishima that he didn’t really think twice about following Kageyama out of school after the scene they just caused. He remembers the shock on his teammates' faces, namely Hinata and Akiyama, and on Kobayashi’s face as well. Tsukishima had not expected that kiss, heck, he did not even think that he would get kissed during this one whole week. He has been in a daze ever since Kageyama kissed him and all he can think about in his head is _how soft_ Kageyama’s lips were.

This is not even the direction to his house, he is just blindly following Kageyama without saying anything. 

_Fuck, he is really turning into a mess._

As he is mulling over his poorly made choices, Kageyama stops walking and Tsukishima would have nearly bumped into him if the other had not called out to him. “Oi, you wanna come in?”

“What kind of invitation is that?” Tsukishima asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You were spacing out. It’s not a good look on you,” Kageyama points out. “Anyway, I can’t serve you anything nice like at your place, my parents aren’t home. But we still have some strawberry cake from Hokkaido which my mom brought home the other day.”

Tsukishima is adamant that he accepts the invitation only for the Hokkaido strawberry cake and not for how Kageyama looks at him with wistful blue eyes.

He follows after Kageyama, taking off his shoes at the genkan while the owner of the house places a pair of home slippers in front of him. Kageyama disappears as Tsukishima takes a careful step into the living area. He does not think Kageyama has ever talked about his house before. Heck, he only found out that Kageyama had an older sister yesterday and his mother was the one doing the asking. Kageyama’s house is clean and neat, almost unlived in. Tsukishima suspects that the living area is hardly used anyway since his parents are always away on business trips and Kageyama is always booked with volleyball practice. It is a contrast to Tsukishima’s house – even though he’s always home late and Akiteru only drops by every now and then, his mother and Mako-chan always keeps the house homely with their warmth and bright energy.

Tsukishima does not even know whether he should sit on the sofa, worried that he might mess up the stillness.

“You’re doing it again,” Kageyama says, emerging from somewhere in the house with a cake box in hand. “Don’t just stare off into the distance it’s starting to get scary.”

“Well, you disappeared suddenly. You’re not being a good host,” Tsukishima grumbles.

Tsukishima expects Kageyama to flare up like he always does but instead, he _laughs_. “Such a demanding boyfriend,” Kageyama simply comments, walking away without addressing Tsukishima’s concern.

“You- ugh!” Tsukishima stomps after Kageyama, well aware that he is acting like a brat. He is so annoyed but somehow he can’t stop his mouth from curving into a smile. 

Kageyama leads him to a door at the end of the hallway, which seems separate from the entire house altogether. One look into the room tells Tsukishima that this is Kageyama’s room.

“Make yourself at home,” Kageyama tells him as they walk in. Tsukishima raises an eyebrow as if to ask _‘Aren’t we already in your house?_ ’.

But Tsukishima starts to understand what he means when he steps into the room. Kageyama’s room pretty much reflects its owner. While it is neat just like the rest of the house, Tsukishima can feel that this room is more lived in. There are weights on the floor and volleyball posters at each corner of the room. Not surprisingly, Kageyama’s desk is empty save for a tray stacked with books and a volleyball used as a paper weight. He pulls out a folding table from underneath his desk and places the cake box on top of it. “Do you need an invitation for everything?” Kageyama asks sassily, blinking up at Tsukishima boredly.

 _Brat_. Tsukishima sinks to the floor, pulling his bag strap over his head and placing his bag at his feet. He slides off his headphones from his neck and places them on top of his bag just as Kageyama is opening the cake box.

“What do you eat when your parents are away on business?” Tsukishima asks, taking the fork from Kageyama.

“They leave me money to buy my meals,” Kageyama replies, picking at the cake with his fork. “Usually I’ll just buy dinner from the restaurant down the street. The lady there is nice and knows what I like to eat.”

“But the food this week has been nice too…” Kageyama adds softly.

Tsukishima pauses while taking a bite of the cake to look at Kageyama. The latter is avoiding eye contact with him, focused on taking a cream-filled piece. His mother’s invitation for Kageyama to come over is fresh in his head, reminding Tsukishima that they are now far too intertwined with each other.

And he is probably a masochist because he goes on to say, “My mom loves having you around. We can have dinner at my place again tomorrow.”

The way Kageyama looks up at him with confused blue eyes is supposed to make him uncomfortable and awkward but Tsukishima just feels like the knot in his chest has loosened up slightly. When Kageyama realises that Tsukishima is not joking, his shoulders loosen up and he smiles. “I’d like that.”

Tsukishima lets out a small hum as he puts a piece of cake into his mouth. “I guess you can keep coming over too, like she said. She would love that a lot.”

Kageyama takes a while to reply but he eventually hums as well. “Yeah?”

Tsukishima smiles despite himself. “Yeah.”

The thought of _‘even after this week?_ ’ floats in the air as neither of them dare to talk about it.

“Hey,” Kageyama suddenly says, putting down his fork as if he remembered something important. “You said you’ve never dated anyone before. Does that also mean that you’ve never kissed anyone before?”

Tsukishima feels his face getting hot and he picks at the last few pieces on the box. “Why would I kiss anyone if I’m not dating them?” he mutters.

He looks up to see Kageyama grinning mischievously. “So… just now. Was that your first kiss?”

“Don’t make fun of me!” Tsukishima grumbles, aggressively poking his fork on the last piece of cake. Kageyama just laughs, holding his stomach as if it was _that_ funny.

“Your lips were dry but you were really cute,” Kageyama says, making Tsukishima choke on his cake.

Tsukishima splutters. “How do you say these kinds of things with a straight face?!”

“I’m only stating facts,” Kageyama shrugs. “That said, you’re not a bad kisser but there’s really nothing to brag about too.”

“Like you’re a kissing expert,” Tsukishima rolls his eyes, his cheeks a bright red.

“Well, you didn’t hate it, right?” Kageyama grins.

Tsukishima is convinced that Kageyama’s sole purpose this week is to make him blush and he slaps his hands onto his face, not willing to let Kageyama have his way. “S-Shut up…”

Kageyama only chuckles and when Tsukishima looks between his fingers, he sees that the other boy has moved to sit beside him. “Do you want me to kiss you again?” he asks seriously, looking at Tsukishima with his deep blue eyes. It reminds Tsukishima of the deep end of the ocean, similar to how he is at the deep end of his feelings for Kageyama. 

“I’m starting to think that modern lit was a lie and you bribed me here with cake only to get me to kiss you,” Tsukishima mutters.

Kageyama chuckles. “But you’re still here so it means that my plan was foolproof, right?”

Tsukishima groans. “I can’t believe I really want you to kiss me right now.”

“Well, I can’t kiss you if you have your hands on your face,” Kageyama teases, clearly enjoying this way too much.

Tsukishima hesitates but he slowly brings his hands down. Kageyama looks at him as if asking if this is really what he wants. Tsukishima nods.

Kageyama cups Tsukishima’s face, the touch of his fingertips sending electric currents down Tsukishima’s body. His brain may have short-circuited because he is not able to think about anything else other than Kageyama’s hands and his stupid pretty face. “Close your eyes,” Kageyama whispers. Tsukishima does.

The moment he feels the press of soft lips on his, Tsukishima blanks out. Kageyama is usually rough, especially with his actions, but he kisses with such tenderness that Tsukishima feels like this is an entirely different Kageyama than the one he has known for the past three years.

And he wants more of him.

Kageyama leads the kiss by tilting his head, prompting Tsukishima to move his mouth on Kageyama’s. It is awkward to say the least — Tsukishima has his hands balled on his lap because he has no idea where to put them. Why is Kageyama tilting his head? Are his glasses in the way? He wonders if he should open his mouth, _is it even okay to start kissing with tongue so early ???_

“You’re thinking,” Kageyama mutters, pulling away slightly. “Don’t think.”

Tsukishima just nods dumbly, not knowing what to say. Kageyama pushes him to lean against the bedframe and crawls into Tsukishima’s lap, much to his surprise. “Your inexperience really shows,” Kageyama comments, taking Tsukishima’s hands and placing it on his hips. “But that’s okay.”

Tsukishima feels the envelope in his pocket crumpling slightly from Kageyama’s shifting on his lap and he decides that at this point, the best thing to do is to throw caution to the wind.

“Teach me then,” Tsukishima says to him daringly and he commits to memory the way Kageyama’s blue eyes glaze over slightly before he leans in to kiss Tsukishima again and again and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnd they kissed!!! wow i had the kissing part down first while writing this chapter because the only thing in my notes for wednesday is 'kissing at kags' house' haha
> 
> the next few chapters will be coming out a bit slower than usual. writing long chapters for two days straight is really taking a toll on my body and it made me realise that i'm not as invincible as i thought i was huhu ; ; i'm aiming to at least get this done by next week so i rly hope that u guys can stay patient with me! ; - ;
> 
> 'thursday' is my personal favourite bcs one of the notes i wrote down for the chapter is 'what's the right time and place for making out'
> 
> edit: i changed the rating of this fic bcs i realised that there won't be any explicit scenes!


	4. thursday

Kissing turns out to be a very addictive activity and Tsukishima wonders why he had not discovered this sooner. Yesterday they ended up kissing so much until he was not able to tell the difference between the sweetness of the strawberry cake and Kageyama’s lips.

He went home with swollen red lips and he ran up the stairs so fast to hide from his mother that he almost tripped on a step.

After the last bell rings the next day, Tsukishima walks into the clubroom to find Kageyama in the middle of changing into practice clothes. They are the first ones to reach the clubroom as Yamaguchi went to fetch Yachi from her classroom and Hinata is still not dismissed from class yet. The first and second years are taking their time, knowing that practice only starts in an hour’s time.

“Hey,” Kageyama greets him without looking, half bent over his bag.

In Tsukishima’s defence, there really is  _ nowhere else _ to look because the first thing he sees when he walks in is Kageyama topless as he is rummaging for his shirt in his bag. Anyway, it is not like he has not seen his teammates half-naked before, he was on the same team as Tanaka for god’s sake, that guy is allergic to shirts. But after what happened at Kageyema’s house, Tsukishima catches his eyes instantly gravitating towards Kageyama. The other boy has his back to him but even his back is  _ distracting _ . 

Kageyama has been gaining more muscle ever since he was selected for the national U19 team, and it shows with how broad and muscular his shoulders are. When he straightens up to stretch, his carved out back muscles flex tightly and Tsukishima starts to feel a bit light-headed. He does not want to admit that disappointment bubbles uglily in his chest when those muscles disappear behind a plain white shirt. 

Tsukishima is absent-mindedly putting on his practice sweatshirt when he accidentally knocks his glasses onto the floor because he forgot to take them off beforehand.  _ Ugh, can he get any more lame?! _

“What gives? You’ve been so out of it lately,” Kageyama says, picking up Tsukishima’s glasses from the floor.

“Just…been a long day,” Tsukishima replies, reaching out for his glasses in Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama pushes his hand away and instead leans in closer to put it on for him. Tsukishima freezes at their closeness but Kageyama only leans back once he has his glasses on.

“W-wait,” Tsukishima says, stopping Kageyama by grabbing his arm. The setter raises an eyebrow at the sudden contact but he does not look away. His blue eyes stare back at him as if he knows what Tsukishima is thinking about.

He decides  _ fuck it _ and leans in first, pressing his lips onto Kageyama’s. He still finds it hard to coordinate his hands at the same time but he eventually sneaks one around Kageyama’s waist to pull him closer. The other boy's response is immediate, kissing him back and bringing his hand up to card his fingers in Tsukishima’s hair. 

He likes it when Kageyama plays with his hair, the way his slender fingers run across his scalp. A small noise involuntarily escapes from Tsukishima’s throat and it makes Kageyama’s fingers pause in their ministrations. Tsukishima takes this moment to back them up against the lockers, pressing Kageyama onto the metal surface of the doors. 

“I think I created a monster,” Kageyama laughs in between kisses, dropping his hand to caress Tsukishima’s nape.

Tsukishima grins, rubbing Kageyama’s waist while the other boy peppers kisses on Tsukishima’s jaw. His blue eyes are glazed over and his pretty face is flushed. Tsukishima feels something growing in his chest as he thinks about how  _ he  _ did this to Kageyama. “Has my kissing improved?”

“Better,” Kageyama replies. “But you still have a long way to go.”

Before Tsukishima can come up with a snarky reply, Kageyama has pushed his glasses up and traced his lower lip with his tongue. A stuttered breath escapes Tsukishima’s lips and Kageyama uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into Tsukishima’s mouth. Tsukishima can feel the teasing snicker on the setter’s lips.  _ Asshole… _

His brain is running on overdrive by the completely new situation and he has no idea how to respond other than give an experimental flick of his tongue onto Kageyama’s. The other boy lets out a breathy chuckle, now wrapping both his arms around Tsukishima’s neck. Once again, Tsukishima lets Kageyama lead him in all his gentleness, responding to the way Kageyama’s tongue slides over his and tilting his head when Kageyama lightly rubs his nape. 

He suddenly remembers that he has hands and decides to make use of them, splaying his fingers across Kageyama’s hips. The other boy’s breath hitches and Tsukishima gets this brilliant idea of a payback to slip his hands underneath Kageyama’s shirt, getting into contact with the hard muscles of Kageyama’s abs. The setter lets out a stuttered groan and angrily bites down on Tsukishima’s lower lip as he chuckles at Kageyama’s reaction.

_ Oh god,  _ Tsukishima thinks that his favourite thing about kissing right now is kissing Kageyama.

Both boys are so occupied by their make out session that they did not notice the door of the clubroom swinging open until they hear a shriek.

“HEY! WE HAVE KIDS AROUND!” Hinata yells, covering Jinki’s eyes while the rest of the kouhais stand at the doorway with equally shocked faces.

Tsukishima startles immediately, snapping his head to the direction of the door whereas Kageyama is in a daze, arms still around Tsukishima’s neck.

Yamaguchi gives them a serious lecture about there being the correct time and place for making out and preserving the innocence of their precious kouhais (“Akiyama says the weirdest shit. I don’t think he’s an innocent kid.” “Tsukki, you’re making it very hard for me to not stay mad at you right now.”). 

The captain then forcibly splits the both of them up and gives them a physical contact ban for the whole of practice. Kageyama gives Tsukishima a look from where his 2-metres-from-Tsukki distance is enforced and they both share a grin. In the spirit of rebellion and acting like 5 year old children, Kageyama keeps tossing to Tsukishima during their practice match, making Hinata so agitated that Yamaguchi has no choice but to switch up the players so that the two troublemakers do not end up on the same team.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I preferred when you guys were going for each other’s throats instead,” Yamaguchi mutters, narrowing his eyes to show his disapproval to their prank.

The captain’s ‘How-could-you-Tsukki’ look as Tsukishima switches teams with Akiyama makes him shrink but the way Kageyama is trying so hard to hold in his laughter makes all of this worth it.

“Tsukki-senpai, have you and Kageyama-senpai done  _ it _ before?” Akiyama asks with a wicked grin when they are facing off at the net.

Jinki gives him a toss and Akiyama is already positioned to block but Tsukishima fakes a spiking motion and feints the ball over Akiyama’s head instead. It is perhaps the pettiest thing Tsukishima has ever done to a kouhai but he grins when the middle blocker lets out a frustrated yell.  _ Innocent his ass _ .

(Yamaguchi refuses to talk to him until he apologises for acting like a brat and promises to never do it again. Despite Yachi’s protests, he gets punished to clean up the whole gym alone after practice but Kageyama sneaks in to help him after everyone else has left.)

* * *

“I’m home,” Tsukishima calls out, stiffening a chuckle at how Kageyama is craning his neck from behind him to catch a glimpse of Mako-chan.

His amusement morphs into horror when he sees Akiteru pop his head from the living room. “Oh, welcome back! Mom, Kei has someone with him that is not Tadashi!”

“Is that Kageyama-kun?” his mother asks from where she is in the kitchen.

“Hello, Tsukishima-san,” Kageyama greets, bowing to her and Akiteru. “Hello, Akiteru-san.”

Akiteru looks like he is about to cry and Tsukishima is really considering walking out with Kageyama and having dinner outside. But Mako-chan suddenly appears from the engawa and just like that, he has lost the other boy to the cat.  _ This family, really. _

He stomps to the kitchen while Akiteru follows behind him. “Kei, you didn’t tell me that you had  _ friends _ !” he sighs dramatically.

“Mom, please ask him to stop,” Tsukishima grumbles. His brother is an adult for crying out loud!

Their mother only chuckles and continues cooking. “Akiteru, please give your brother a break. He’s trying very hard.”

“Is he the genius setter in your batch? How did you guys even get close?” Akiteru asks nosily.

“Why are you even back here? Don’t you have work tomorrow?” Tsukishima deflects his questions with a bored huff.

Akiteru grins and proudly puffs out his chest. “I took a day off to surprise Saeko for Valentine’s Day tomorrow!”

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow, obviously unamused. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m gonna do for her?” Akiteru asks, still maintaining his pose.

“Nope,” Tsukishima replies, walking to the living room to where Mako-chan has stolen Kageyama from right under his nose.

Akiteru trails behind Tsukishima like a puppy trying to get its owner’s attention. “Aww, come on, Kei. It could give you ideas for your future partner too!”

Tsukishima turns to him with a threatening aura to drop the conversation and Akiteru brazenly shifts his attention to Kageyama instead. “Hey, Kageyama-kun! Have you dated anyone before?”

“Huh?” Kageyama looks up from where he is playing with Mako-chan on the floor. “Oh.. yeah, I’ve dated a few people.”

Akiteru looks impressed. “Ah… So you must be experienced! Kei, you need to learn from Kageyama.”

Tsukishima pretends to not have heard his brother’s egging. He thinks its a stupid suggestion because who needs a picture of Kageyama holding another girl’s hand in their head? Definitely not Tsukishima, and  _ he does not appreciate the picture he has thought up for himself already _ .

“Why do you want him to get a girlfriend so badly, Akiteru-san?” Kageyama asks.

“Ah…” Akiteru chuckles as he glances at Tsukishima, who is sulking at the other end of the sofa. “I guess I’m just curious about the type of person that Kei would like. He’s always been very insistent on the  _ ‘zing’ _ thing since back then.”

_ Oh my god Akiteru, just stop talking! _ Tsukishima wants to blend in with the sofa just so he can be dropped from this conversation.

“I heard about the  _ ‘zing’ _ ,” Kageyama grins and Tsukishima shoots him a deadly glare.

Akiteru’s smile is so bright and proud that it is ridiculous. “He’s such a romantic, isn’t he? That’s why I don’t understand why he doesn’t have a partner yet. He’s very thoughtful and would definitely be the best boyfriend to any girl or guy out there!”

Tsukishima notices that his brother mentioned ‘ _ girl or guy _ ’ and his confusion gets him stronger than his annoyance.  _ Why does this sound like his brother is trying to sell him to Kageyama? _

Before he can weed out anything else from his brother, their mother calls the three of them for dinner. Kageyama gets up and pads over to the dining table, immediately receiving a motherly pat on the shoulder from the elder Tsukishima. 

Tsukishima watches them with a fond smile on his face, feeling his chest growing warm at how his mother has practically taken Kageyama under her wing. He freezes when he hears Akiteru chuckle next to him as the older man gets up and joins Kageyama and their mother at the dinner table.

So he is not imagining things. His brother definitely knows about his feelings for Kageyama.

* * *

Tsukishima is on edge all the way through dinner because now he knows that Akiteru  _ knows _ . And he just knows that Akiteru will want to talk to him about it because he is just obnoxious that way. 

Thankfully Akiteru behaves during dinner, probably because their mother is there, and dinner turns out to be a calm affair. Their mother keeps filling up Kageyama’s plate with food as if he has not eaten for days while her actual two sons just watch her fuss over their guest as if he is her son instead.

After dinner, Tsukishima brings Kageyama up to his room so that he can talk to the other boy without nosey or stealing family members (and cats) around. Kageyama mentions that he is feeling a bit thirsty so Tsukishima heads down to the kitchen again to get him something to drink. 

It is just his luck that when he is walking up the stairs he bumps into Akiteru, who blocks his path like the obnoxious older brother he is. “Mom told me about your  _ ‘zing’ _ ,” Akiteru says with a grin on his face.

Tsukishima narrows his eyes at him, not so surprised anymore. “Alright then.”

“Kei, ask me what I think about him!” Akiteru pouts. “Come on, give me a chance to be your reliable older brother.”

Tsukishima sighs. The way Akiteru looks right now with his lower lip jutting out and his pitiful puppy eyes definitely does not scream older brother. But he decides that he should just humour his older brother if he wants to get this over and done with. “Okay, what do you think of Kageyama?” Kei asks in a deadpan voice.

Akiteru’s eyes are practically shining once he gets the chance to step up into his role. “I think he’s a really nice person! He’s so polite and it seems like he is mindful of others around him. Since mom and Mako-chan like him, I approve of him too.”

“But Kei, I need you to know that just because you feel a  _ ‘zing’ _ it doesn’t mean that you have to be with that person,” Akiteru continues. “You need to make a conscious choice of accepting that person for whoever they are and not the idea of them that made you feel the  _ ‘zing’ _ .”

Tsukishima gapes at his brother, unable to believe that the words coming out from his mouth are actually his. He has to admit, Akiteru’s words make him think and more than ever he feels quite awed by him.

Akiteru laughs at how Kei is looking at him and he puffs his chest out in pride. “Ah, it’s been a while since you’ve looked at me like that. Don’t you feel glad to have an older brother like me?”

And just like that, Akiteru becomes uncool again and Kei forcibly pushes past him despite his whinings and protests.

* * *

When Tsukishima enters his room, he sees Kageyama looking at the figurines on his shelf. “I didn’t peg you for the dinosaur type,” the other boy says to him when Tsukishima passes him his drink. 

“My dad got them for me,” Tsukishima tells him. “I had a dinosaur phase when I was little so everytime he goes on a business trip he’ll always bring back a dinosaur figurine for me even after I grew out of it.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him that you didn’t like them anymore?” Kageyama asks.

Tsukishima shrugs, taking one of the figurines to look at it closely. “It was one of the few things that he knows about me, I guess. We don’t really talk much when he’s home. It’s awkward because we don’t really know what to talk about.”

“Oh,” Kageyama frowns. “Does it upset you that your dad’s like that?”

“Well, not really,” Tsukishima replies, putting back the figurine. “Um.. Akiteru never really got over it but I guess I don’t really care since I’ve always been closer to my mom from the start. Anyway, he understands what my mom is going through and when he’s around, my mom’s always at her happiest. He might be bad at being a dad but I think he’s a good husband to my mom so I’m okay with that.”

“That’s nice…” Kageyama comments, turning to face Tsukishima completely now. “Is that why you’re such a hopeless romantic?”

Tsukishima feels his face heat up as he looks away from Kageyama. “I… don’t really have an answer for that,” he mutters.

Kageyama chuckles as he takes a step closer to Tsukishima, abandoning his drink to curl his fingers in the hem of Tsukishima’s shirt. “Well, I think it’s cute,” he whispers to Tsukishima’s ear. “And you make me really want to kiss you right now.”

_ Oh, Kageyama is really going to be the death of him. _

He meets Kageyama halfway, finding familiarity in the softness of Kageyama’s lips. This time they take things a bit slower, kissing languidly as if they have all the time in the world. Kageyama backs Tsukishima against his study table and the latter braces his weight against it, cautious about the sturdiness of his table. He does not know how he would explain to his mother if his table were to break.

He feels his glasses being shifted up and the other boy pulls away slightly to take them off from his face and place them on the table. Tsukishima chases after his lips, eager to connect with Kageyama once again. The setter parts his lips, prompting Tsukishima to glide his tongue along the roof of Kageyama’s mouth. The latter shivers involuntarily, gripping tightly onto Tsukishima’s shirt as he lets out a breathless groan. 

“Fuck, you sure learn fast,” Kageyama pants as Tsukishima chuckles and pecks his lips again. “Are you sure you’re not practicing with anyone else?”

“Nope, just you,” Tsukishima replies, looking at the boy before him with a grin. Even though he is not wearing his glasses, he can see the same messed up Kageyama he saw in the clubroom earlier. Glazed blue eyes stare back at him, waiting for his next move. Tsukishima has no idea what compels him to do so but he brings a hand up to card his fingers in Kageyama’s raven locks. The other boy tilts his head in confusion, flushed cheeks a blur in Tsukishima’s sight. 

Akiteru’s words suddenly come to mind now, out of all times, while he has Kageyama waiting to make out with him again. ‘ _ Just because you feel a ‘zing’ it doesn’t mean that you have to be with that person _ ’.

“You’re thinking very hard,” Kageyama points out, bringing a hand up to touch Tsukishima’s cheek. “What are you thinking about?”

“How far do you think we should take this relationship?” Tsukishima asks, looking at Kageyama’s blurred face. He is not able to tell the expression on the other boy’s face but he feels the hand on his cheek stiffening before a thumb moves to caress his cheek.

“‘ _ Whatever happens in this week stays in this week _ ’” Kageyama recites the ground rule, his voice as soft as a whisper. “How far do you want us to go?”

“This was only supposed to be a show for the people at school,” Tsukishima replies, his voice as soft as Kageyama’s. “But what if-”

“We go out on a date for Valentine's Day weekend?” Kageyama finishes up for him, his lips curling into a smile.

“Y-yeah,” Tsukishima stutters. “How did you know what I was gonna ask?”

“Yamaguchi gave me a serious lecture. Said you’ve been waiting to take someone out for Valentine’s Day your whole life or something,” Kageyama tells him.

Tsukishima feels the blush creep up to his ears and he reminds himself to send Yamaguchi a long worded text on meddling with his business.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you about it since yesterday but I still don’t really know where we should go,” Kageyama adds.

Tsukishima suddenly remembers an envelope which he put on the table before putting his gakuran in the laundry basket yesterday. He stretches his arm to take it from underneath some textbooks while Kageyama looks on curiously. “Kobayashi gave me something,” Tsukishima tells him.

Kageyama raises an eyebrow at this information but his eyes widen when Tsukishima shows him what is inside the envelope. “She gave me two tickets to the aquarium so maybe we can go there on Saturday?”

The other boy visibly relaxes and he wraps his arms around Tsukishima’s neck to pull him in for a kiss. “Of course we can. You have me as your boyfriend until the end of the week anyway.”

_ Until the end of the week. _

Tsukishima’s heartbeat thunders in his ears as he kisses Kageyama back. He is reminded that everything will change from here on and it scares him.

But then he feels Kageyama shiver when he runs a hand up his back and it is followed by a soft sigh against his lips.

_ Suddenly it does not seem so scary anymore. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kissing, kissing and more kissing! : ))) (is this considered a thirstytobioweek contribution? LMAO)
> 
> hoped you enjoyed this chapter! i really enjoyed writing this one, especially the little comedy bits which i tried to match with how they played out in my head ; w ;
> 
> i'm seriously very floored by all the kudos and comments over the past few days and i'm just so appreciative and thankful of all the support you've given!!! ;;;;;;
> 
> the next chapter will have more ot5 bcs i just love those kids together sooo i hope you'll look forward to it!


	5. friday

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Yachi drops a red and pink packet into each of the third years’ laps when they are having lunch together at their rooftop spot. Today Hinata joins them instead of having lunch with his classmates because Yachi booked everyone for lunch three days in advance and since Yachi always has something nice planned when they have lunch together, everybody makes themselves free for her.

“Woah, chocolates from Yacchan!” Hinata’s eyes sparkle as he picks up the packet. 

“Yachi stayed up late yesterday to make them,” Yamaguchi tells them, beaming at Yachi proudly.

Yachi shyly laughs as she leans into Yamaguchi’s side. “Well, I had help!”

“So chocolates from Yacchan  _ and _ Yamaguchi,” Kageyama points out.

Tsukishima picks up the packet in his lap and turns it around to inspect it. Yachi had put in a lot of care into wrapping the chocolates and she even attached an individual note onto each of theirs.  _ ‘Sometimes the presence of a shadow can also be a source of comfort’ _ is what his note reads. He notices that the character for shadow has been written in a different colour and he looks up at Kageyama to see him with his eyes furrowed as he is reading his note.

“King, you know you can ask if you can’t read the characters,” Tsukishima teases him.

“Shut up! I can read just fine,” Kageyama grumbles, looking at his letter intently. Tsukishima looks over his shoulder to see what Yachi wrote for him.

_ ‘Even in the darkest nights, trust that the moon will guide you home.’ _

He is glad that Kageyama is bad at reading characters. Though he is not quite sure whether it is good in general for Kageyama since they are already in their third year. Well, he already has volleyball going on for him so even if he cannot read, Tsukishima thinks he will do alright in life.

“Thanks Yacchan, you’re the best! I’ll share this with Natsu when I get home,” Hinata grins, gingerly putting his packet on his lunchbox. “It’s nice to be having a quiet lunch like this on Valentine’s Day. Last year Kageyama can’t even eat a single meat bun in peace without being approached by someone.”

Hinata elbows Kageyama, who shoots him a glare. “Aren’t you glad that you’re dating Tsukishima? You haven’t been receiving any confessions this week, probably because everyone else is afraid of Scary-shima.”

Tsukishima has long learned to not be baited by Hinata’s jabs but he still gives his fellow middle blocker a pissed off look. He also realises that Hinata is right, Kageyama has not gotten any confessions this week since their fake-dating thing started. He feels relieved that their plan is working just fine.

“Can’t say the same about Tsukki, though,” Yamaguchi snickers. “Kobayashi was very persistent at first.”

“She’s not that bad,” Tsukishima defends his friend. “At least she knew when to take a step back. We’re actually friends now.”

There is a cold wind that passes by the group after Tsukishima finishes his sentence. He looks at Kageyama who is aggressively stabbing into his chicken with his chopsticks. Meanwhile, Hinata, Yachi and Yamaguchi are trying so hard to contain their laughter. Tsukishima is confused as he looks at the three of them.

Yachi giggles. “I heard from the first and second years about what happened on Wednesday.”

“Man, Kageyama was  _ dripping  _ with jealousy,” Hinata chortles.

“Tsukki, you’re really too mean. Poor Kageyama was having a hard time keeping it together,” Yamaguchi laughs.

“ _ Shut up! _ I wasn’t jealous,” Kageyama retorts.

“Sure, sure. Keep believing that,” Hinata teases, only to scream when Kageyama gets up and starts chasing him around the rooftop with his fists raised.

Tsukishima is still trying to process the information in his head. He did not think that Kageyama would be jealous of Kobayashi. If he was jealous, it would mean that…

_ Oh. _

Yachi has gotten up to try and separate the two idiots before anybody gets hurt, Yamaguchi looks at Tsukishima, who is staring blankly into space after being hit in the face by the realisation that he  _ should _ have gotten days ago.

“Hey, Tsukki. Wanna go grab drinks from the vending machine downstairs?” his best friend asks.

* * *

A soda can dispenses from the machine and Tsukishima reaches his hand in to take it. Yamaguchi is already pulling the tab on his can, releasing a fizz before drinking his soda.

“Care to explain about what’s going on between you and Kageyama?” Yamaguchi asks, making Tsukishima freeze in his actions. “I know the both of you aren’t really dating so you can cut to the chase.”

“How’d you find out?” Tsukishima mutters.

“Tsukki, I’ve been your friend since elementary school,” Yamaguchi deadpans. “You’re telling me that you can suddenly date someone you’ve hated since the start of high school without going through the whole  _ ‘zing’  _ thing? I know you’re too much of a hopeless romantic for that.”

Tsukishima sighs. He spills everything about the fake-dating plan to his best friend, from him asking Kageyama and the other boy agreeing to them putting on a show for the whole school to see. He tells him about the rules which they made for themselves and how over the days, their interactions just became more natural to the point that Tsukishima confuses himself about this relationship. Yamaguchi nods as he quietly listens and at this point, Tsukishima decides that he should just be fully honest to his best friend. “The  _ ‘zing’ _ is real. I felt it with him.”

“At first I didn’t know whether I felt this way because we‘ve been spending more time together. But then I started seeing this different side of him and I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, I- everything just got so real it started getting  _ scary _ , you know?”

Yamaguchi takes a look at how dejected Tsukishima is and he shakes his head. “Did you guys talk about this?”

“No...” Tsukishima replies, avoiding Yamaguchi’s eyes and the captain is almost ready to flip out.

“Seriously? Why do you guys do this to yourselves?” Yamaguchi groans. “I thought if you guys were already bold enough to make out, you would be okay with talking about stuff too.”

Tsukishima feels his face heat up at the accusation. Yeah, why is it much easier to kiss Kageyama than tell him about his feelings? He questions his priorities and wonders if something is  _ really wrong _ with him.

“Kageyama asked me to go on a date with him tomorrow,” he tells Yamaguchi. “I thought he only did it because you talked to him that day.”

Yamaguchi takes a sip of his soda. “It’s true that I talked to him about asking you out for the weekend. But he said that he had been thinking of asking you already, it’s just that he didn’t know where to bring you to.”

“He said he didn’t know why it really matters but he just wanted you to have the perfect date because he knew how much it means to you.”

Tsukishima stares into space as he considers the possibilities in his head. “Does Kageyama… like me?”

He turns to Yamaguchi and sees his best friend looking at him with a pitiful look on his face. “Tsukki, did you just realise that?”

Tsukishima feels the puzzle pieces connecting in his head. The thoughtfulness, the weird behaviour, the questions, the kissing, the  _ jealousy _ .

_ Oh, the jealousy. _

“Kageyama likes me,” Tsukishima whispers in disbelief. 

His disbelief turns into panic because he realises that  _ this changes everything _ .

“Kageyama likes me,” Tsukishima repeats, his voice laden with anxiety. “Yamaguchi, what do I do?”

“What do you mean, what do you do?” Yamaguchi raises an eyebrow. “You talk to him about it, that’s what you should do!”

Tsukishima turns pale because he has forgotten how to breathe. He knows that there is definitely a possibility but he has not been ready to consider it. He does not even do well with confrontation. _ How did they even let this happen? _

Yamaguchi has had enough and claps both his hands on Tsukishima’s shoulders, making the latter wince and snap out of his thoughts. “Tsukki, just talk to him. It’s not gonna help if you keep thinking about it, there are only so many things that you can control. If you only play scenarios out in your head,  _ you won’t get answers _ .”

Tsukishima stares at Yamaguchi as the latter crosses his arms to his chest while giving him a look. Man… Since when has his best friend gotten so cool? He makes it sound so easy.

But Tsukishima knows that it is otherwise.

* * *

“Where did you two go?” Hinata asks when they walk back up to the rooftop. The two idiots have stopped fighting and are sitting in a civil circle with Yachi in between them. 

Yamaguchi squeezes in between Hinata and Yachi with an innocent smile. “We went to get drinks for everybody,” he replies, putting down two cans of soda in front of Hinata and Yachi.

“Yamaguchi, you’re the best!” Hinata praises, eyes practically glistening in appreciation.

Kageyama is looking at Tsukishima, probably curious about the expression on his face. Tsukishima hopes that his face does not give him away. He is trying so hard to keep his cool around Kageyama, especially after his conversation with Yamaguchi earlier. But Kageyama seems to have noticed something because he raises an eyebrow while giving Tsukishima a look.

He is internally panicking but he keeps his calm and presses a cold carton of milk against Kageyama’s cheek. The setter immediately flinches and the way he grumbles lightheartedly and takes the drink from Tsukishima makes him chuckle.

“You two are really cute together,” Yachi comments blissfully. “Who would have thought that all those years of fighting and arguing would lead to you two having feelings for each other?”

Hinata chokes on his soda, prompting Yamaguchi to slap his back and help him cough it out. Tsukishima does not dare look at Kageyama’s expression because he does not need anymore material to send his brain into a spiralling mess. He simply keeps the smile on his face for Yachi, no matter how fake it looks.

Their manager must have felt the weird atmosphere because she flinches and panics. “Did I say something wrong?!” she wails.

“N- No, no, you didn’t,” Yamaguchi tries to calm her down and assure her. Tsukishima thinks that he is already a master at it by now.

“Uh.. So where are you guys going for your Valentine’s Day date?” Hinata asks, quickly changing the subject. “Natsu was really bummed when I told her that Kageyama wouldn’t be free this weekend. She really wanted to go on her first Valentine’s date with Kageyama.”

“Sorry, someone else hasn’t gotten their first Valentine’s date yet,” Kageyama says, tilting his head towards Tsukishima as he is sipping on his milk. “Maybe Natsu can get her turn next year.”

“So, you finally asked him,” Yamaguchi grins, playing along as if he did not just hear this from Tsukishima minutes ago. “Where are you guys planning to go?”

“The aquarium,” both Tsukishima and Kageyama say at the same time. They share a look before snickering.

“Geez, you guys make me want to barf,” Hinata comments, sticking out his tongue. “Anyway, Tsukishima. Make Kageyama take you out on a lot of dates so he wouldn’t have time to practice and I can finally overpower him!”

Kageyama is about to throw something at Hinata but Tsukishima holds him back by tugging at his shirt. “You gotta work on growing first,” Tsukishima tells him.

“Damn you, Tsukishima!” Hinata yells, throwing his fists at Tsukishima’s direction only for Yamaguchi and Yachi to hold him back.

Kageyama does not hold back on his laughter and the sound stirs something warm in Tsukishima’s chest. 

He will take this moment for now.

* * *

School has ended for the week and the thought of weekend plans brings excitement to the students. Tsukishima watches couples leaving the school gates hand-in-hand, probably to spend the rest of the evening together on their own little dates. Yamaguchi and Yachi themselves have plans tonight and they walk off first, waving to Tsukishima with their hands intertwined.

Tsukishima spots Kageyama and Hinata walking towards the gate and Hinata looks like he is giving Kageyama a serious talking. When they spot Tsukishima at the gate, Hinata sharply elbows Kageyama and hops on his bicycle before the irate setter can catch him.

“Enjoy your date tomorrow, Stingyshima!” Hinata shouts as he zooms past him.

Tsukishima still cannot believe that Hinata is a third year, just like the rest of them.

“What took you guys so long?” Tsukishima asks.

“Hinata was just being annoying, as usual,” Kageyama mutters.

Tsukishima nods and they walk out of school without another word. They are walking side by side but there is this unexplainable awkwardness in the air and Tsukishima just wants to go back to when he is able to be around Kageyama without overthinking every single action. He has his hands balled up into fists in his pockets, anxiety making his heart beat twice as fast.

Kageyama is also quiet, which is not necessarily uncharacteristic of him, but still quite strange.

‘ _ It’s not gonna help if you keep thinking about it, there are only so many things that you can control, _ ’ Yamaguchi’s voice nags in his head. Tsukishima knows what he has to do but the thing that makes him so anxious is what is going to come out of it.

“Hey, are you okay? You’re looking a little pale,” Kageyama suddenly says, breaking his thought process.

Tsukishima stops in his steps and turns to look at the other boy, who curiously stops as well. His hands are shaking as he takes them out of his pockets and he puts them together because he is feeling so, so cold.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when Kageyama grabs his hands and easily intertwines their fingers together. “What are you thinking about?” the other boy asks, as he takes a step closer. His hands are warm and the way his blue eyes are scanning Tsukishima’s face only makes the words stuck in Tsukishima’s throat.

_ How do I tell you this? _

Tsukishima swallows the lump in his throat as he tries to calm down the frantic beating of his heart. Kageyama’s brows furrow in worry and he raises one of his hands to cup Tsukishima’s cheek. “Hey, T-Tsukishima,” he stutters, the word sounding foreign coming from his mouth.

It makes Tsukishima laugh despite himself and he holds Kageyama with his free hand. “It’s weird when you call me that, king,” he says in a small voice.

“I know,” Kageyama chuckles, lightly thumbing his cheek. “How about Kei?”

“Doesn’t sound bad,” Tsukishima mumbles, heat creeping up to his ears.

Kageyama smiles. “Alright, Kei. Tell me what’s bothering you?”

Tsukishima takes a deep breath. “I’m always getting distracted nowadays and I feel like my heart is always going to explode,” he mutters. “I’m thinking about you all the time and it scares me because it’s the first time I’m feeling all this.”

He feels Kageyama become still under his touch and Tsukishima really wishes he could look away from those blue eyes. He gets taken aback however when Kageyama surges forward and kisses him, taking away all the words from his mouth. Tsukishima kisses him back with all he has, ignoring the way his heartbeat is thundering loudly in his ears. 

Kageyama kisses him like he wants to forget his own beating heart and it pains Tsukishima because he does not understand  _ why _ . 

“But you feel the same way,” Tsukishima whispers to his lips in between kisses. “Why are you holding back?”

Kageyama lets out a shaky breath. “This was not supposed to happen. This was not supposed to be how your first goes.”

“You were not supposed to fall for someone who knows he has to break your heart.”

The other boy looks so guilty and Tsukishima just wants to kiss his guilt away and argue with him and tell him  _ No, my heart says it’s supposed to be you _ .

But he does not. Because it looks like Kageyama has made up his mind.

He does not ask the other boy to reconsider because he knows what he was getting into from the very start.

Kageyama only gives what he wants.

Tsukishima would never know when to stop giving.

And they both knew from the start that he is bound to emotionally tire himself out.

* * *

**Kageyama (02:23)**

You awake?

**Me (02:26)**

Yeah

Can’t sleep?

**Kageyama (02:28)**

Yeah

I’m sorry

I feel bad for rejecting you

You don’t deserve it

**Me (02:30)**

It’s okay

I mean, we both know that it was gonna happen

**Kageyama (02:35)**

Will you still let me take you out on a Valentine’s date tomorrow?

It’s something that you’ve always wanted, right?

**Me (02:37)**

Well…

The tickets wouldn’t be used anyway

So I guess we can still go

**Kageyama (02:39)**

Okay

I’ll see you tomorrow then

Go to sleep

**Me (02:40)**

You get some sleep too

I don’t want to walk around with someone who looks like a zombie

**Kageyama (02:41)**

Hahahahahaha

Okay I will

Goodnight Kei

*Tsukishima

Shit sorry

**Me (02:50)**

Goodnight Kageyama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please accept my apologies ; ;


	6. saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // slight mentions of depression (nothing major!)

To say that he had a good night’s sleep would be a complete lie. Tsukishima had woken up feeling more like shit than he did the day before. It did not help that when he groggily walked to the living room, he was greeted with the image of his mother laughing and having breakfast with Yamaguchi and Yachi.

Needless to say, Tsukishima did not stand a chance.

His eyes are so uncomfortable from the contacts that Yamaguchi and Yachi had gotten for him. He feels a bit weird to not feel the frame of his glasses on the bridge of his nose. It feels even weirder to see himself in the reflection of the train window. His otherwise messy hair has been fluffed up with his mom’s hair straightener and without the chunky frames of his glasses covering half of his face, his facial features are more prominent. Yachi had made an effort to hide his dark eyebags with concealer after chiding him for sleeping late the night before his first Valentine’s date with Kageyama.

Tsukishima did not have the heart to tell her that this would probably be his last date with Kageyama too. He did not tell Yamaguchi about what happened yesterday but judging from how his best friend gave him worried looks, he must have guessed what happened.

Tsukishima gets off the train at Nakanosakae station and exits at the control station. He scans the crowd for a head of raven hair and it is almost ridiculous how he manages to pinpoint a familiar back from the sea of people.

“Kageyama,” Tsukishima calls out to get his attention.

When Kageyama turns around at the sound of his voice, Tsukishima feels like he wants to run back to the platform and take the train back home. Kageyama seems to keep pushing the limits on how much prettier he can get. His bangs which usually plaster his forehead have been artfully styled to the side and it makes his eyes more visible. He has on a plain black hoodie layered with an oversized windbreaker over it and Tsukishima does not think he has seen Kageyama out of his school uniform, practice clothes or volleyball jersey so this is definitely a sight for him.

They both continue to stand at their spot, just staring at each other while people weave past them, until Kageyama hesitantly walks over looking just as surprised as Tsukishima thinks he himself is.

“You… aren’t wearing your glasses,” Kageyama says in disbelief.

“Good observation skills you got there, king,” Tsukishima replies, unable to help himself.

“Shut up,” Kageyama grumbles. “This is something different. You’ve always had your glasses on.”

 _Except when we’re making out_ , Tsukishima thinks but does not actually say it out loud.

“I can always wear my glasses if it bothers you,” he tells him but Kageyama vehemently shakes his head.

“No, it’s okay!” he says without missing a beat. “You look… good. Different… but good.”

“Okay,” Tsukishima replies, chewing on his lower lip. He is trying so badly not to cringe because _god, this is so awkward_. He cannot imagine how the whole day is going to go and he just hopes that whatever this is will subside.

They take a shuttle bus from the train station all the way to the aquarium. Tsukishima notices that Kageyama has been avoiding eye contact with him, even when they are having a conversation. The other boy looks to the side, at the floor and straight past him – anywhere but his eyes. It makes him annoyed but he does not do anything about it until after they get off the bus.

Kageyama has his hands in the pockets of his windbreaker and they are walking to the aquarium building when Tsukishima drags him by the arm to a secluded area and pushes him up against a wall, pressing his lips onto his. He hears Kageyama suck in a breath and he continues to kiss him until the setter loosens up and kisses him back. “I didn’t agree to go on this date to feel like I’d rather play ten sets back to back,” Tsukishima tells him wryly when they pull away to catch their breath.

Kageyama chuckles, cheeks flushed pink. “When that day comes, I’ll let you decide how you want me to toss for you.”

“Of course a volleyball joke would calm your nerves, king,” Tsukishima mutters, smiling despite himself.

“I’m sorry for being so nervous but have you looked at yourself in the mirror today?” Kageyama raises a hand to lightly brush away Tsukishima’s fluffy bangs from his eyes. “You look really good, it’s so hard to keep looking at you.”

Tsukishima feels his face heat up and he hears Kageyama snicker when he looks away out of embarrassment. “You don’t have to be nice to me just because you feel bad about yesterday,” Tsukishima tells him.

He regrets bringing it up because Kageyama tenses up again. Tsukishima looks at him apologetically but then his shoulders relax and his blue eyes quickly brighten. He does not expect Kageyama to slip his hand into his and press a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Let’s just have a great day today,” Kageyama tells him, flashing him a bright smile.

* * *

It has been quite some time since Tsukishima has last been to the aquarium. The last time he was here was with his family during elementary school. He remembered his father trying to get the concession price for him and they had to prove that he was in fact an elementary school student, just a bit too tall for his age. Eventually, the person at the counter relented when little Kei flashed her the puppy eyes.

Tsukishima chuckles as he thinks about the memory. It has been a while since he is able to step into a brighter headspace. He remembers growing up too fast, especially after watching his mother battle with depression and after his hero-worship for Akiteru went sour. He rarely gets excited about things but there is just something about the aquarium that fills him with childlike wonder again.

He does not dare talk about it with Kageyama but judging from how the other boy’s eyes practically sparkle the moment they enter the building, he thinks that he probably shares the same sentiments.

There are many couples that are also having their Valentine’s dates at the aquarium but Tsukishima cannot be bothered to focus on anyone else but Kageyama. The other boy has completely loosened up after the kiss and Tsukishima finds himself falling into a comfortable state next to him as they go through the different areas of the aquarium with easy laughter and high spirits.

They have made a competition of pointing out the weirdest looking fish to each other and bonus points go to the ones that resemble their current or former team members. “That’s definitely Tanaka-san,” Kageyama laughs as he points at a dull-looking fish with its mouth jutting out to show a row of sharp teeth.

“Sugawara-san,” Tsukishima points to a stingray that swims past them. The way Kageyama gasps is so dramatic that it makes Tsukishima double over with laughter.

“Send him a picture,” Kageyama taunts him, eyes glinting with mischief.

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow with a smirk. “Whoever loses rock-paper-scissors will send it.”

They stand at the side of the walkway to prepare for a high-stakes rock-paper-scissors match and Tsukishima blows some luck into his hand because he does not want to be the one sending the picture to their high-strung silver haired senpai. They throw out their hands at the count of three and Kageyama lets out a devious laugh, enveloping his palm over a stunned Tsukishima’s outstretched fist. 

“Take a picture and send it now!” Kageyama demands, too excited that he has subconsciously intertwined his fingers with Tsukishima’s opened palm.

“Your wish is my command, king,” Tsukishima chuckles, squeezing Kageyama’s hand as he fishes his phone out of his pocket.

  
  


**Me (15:24)**

_[IMG_032]_

Sugawara-san this stingray looks just like you

Kageyama agrees

**Sugawara senpai (15:26)**

NO IT DOES NOT

Also you’re at the aquarium with Kageyama??

On Valentine’s Day??

Are you guys on a date ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡° )

**Me (15:27)**

Bye

Kageyama wants to look at the penguins next so they head over to the next area. The setter has been laughing at pictures of the penguins ever since they entered the aquarium and frankly Tsukishima is feeling a bit concerned.

“You’ll understand when you see it for yourself,” Kageyama tells him, trying so hard to maintain his giggle fit.

(Kageyama takes a picture of a lungfish on the way to the penguin exhibit. “Hinata,” he decides without any further explanation. Tsukishima thinks he deserves all the extra points.)

The penguin exhibit is full of children and Tsukishima has to properly watch where he is going lest he knocks over an unsuspecting child. Kageyama has already walked in front of him, finding a spot where they can see the penguins best. He is so excited that he is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet and Tsukishima finds it endearing. 

“Look, look,” Kageyama tells him, pointing to the Humboldt penguins waddling in the enclosure. “Tell me those don’t look like Inarizaki players.”

Tsukishima sees the uncanny resemblance. The penguins have white coats on their fronts with a streak of black on their chests that continue on to the black coats on their backs. Their coats do resemble the Inarizaki jersey and it makes Tsukishima chuckle too because he spots a penguin lazily shuffling after its friends and he is immediately reminded of the middle blocker he went up against during their first year at Nationals.

Kageyama points to a penguin that has pushed another penguin into the water. “That’s Miya Atsumu,” he grins, taking out his phone and snapping a picture to send to Miya Atsumu.

They continue on to the rest of the areas before deciding to end their visit at the panorama tank on the second floor. The both of them stand side by side without saying anything to each other, merely watching as the fishes swim past them in their underwater utopia. The tank spans from the ceiling to the floor and it is one of the few times Tsukishima actually has to look up to properly look at something. There is a certain hum that surrounds the room which is audible even on top of all the chatter. Tsukishima turns to his side to glance at Kageyama.

Despite only being a few centimeters shorter than Tsukishima, the setter seems to have this intriguing ability to appear very small when he is looking at things with wonder. The azure ripples of the water are reflected as sparkles in the blue wonder of his eyes, following the sea creatures with absolute fascination.

He should be tearing his eyes away but Tsukishima cannot bring himself to stop looking. He has dreams about those beautiful blue eyes before he even knew what pining even meant. Those eyes hold endless oceans of emotions that he wants to unpack and understand. He wants to know why Kageyama holds back when those eyes betray him by telling Tsukishima that he felt the same way he does.

He does not look away when Kageyama catches him staring. The other boy holds his gaze with his lovely blue eyes and smiles, warm and familiar.

Perhaps the hum that Tsukishima has been hearing is only audible to himself as he allows the feeling in his chest to bloom. 

He finds himself at the deep end of the ocean again, but this time he makes the conscious choice to sink in and catch himself in the ripples of Kageyama’s blue eyes.

* * *

It is almost evening when they leave the aquarium. They decide to find a place nearby where they can eat the lunchboxes that Tsukishima’s mother had packed for them and watch the sunset while they are at it.

Kageyama finds a pavillion which overlooks the port and the sea and they set up the food on top of a mat which his mother has also packed. Tsukishima is actually quite impressed by this set-up and by how coincidental the timing is. A flower petal drops on Kageyama’s head and he runs his hand in his hair to brush it off.

Tsukishima is in a fucking romance cliche, he is sure of it.

He is in awe at how his mother had managed to pack a whole buffet into the lunchboxes. Even Kageyama is looking at the spread as if he has not been expecting this much food. They both pick up their chopsticks and start eating while enjoying the calm outdoors. 

The silence between them has become something more comfortable for Tsukishima and he thinks maybe it is the same for Kageyama too. The rays from the setting sun have painted both their skins red and orange and Tsukishima thinks about how he does not want a better ending to this date. He looks over to where Kageyama is eating his food in content while looking at the setting sun in the distance.

“My grandfather loved sunsets,” Kageyama tells Tsukishima. “His house was on a hill and I used to live with him when I was younger. Everyday, we would sit at the engawa of his house to watch the sunset. Sometimes Miwa would join us but when she got older she preferred to hang out with her friends.”

“There’s just something about this moment, watching the sky glow at its brightest before it lets the sun walk down the stage for the moon to take over.”

There is a dim twinkle in Kageyama’s blue eyes, contrasting against the orange of the sunset glow. Tsukishima’s breath gets caught in his throat. Why does Kageyama look so sad when he is describing something so beautiful?

“I never thought that I’d hear you talk so passionately about sunsets,” Tsukishima comments, packing his finished lunchbox.

Kageyama laughs. “The intelligent musings probably came from him.”

There is a fondness in his voice as he says this. Tsukishima realises that it is the kind of fondness that is reserved for someone who is no longer around. “Do you miss him?” Tsukishima asks.

“All the time,” Kageyama replies. “He was the one who made me love volleyball. After he… left, there was a period of time where everything just seemed so dark. Then Hinata came along and he’s like a sunset glow that never ends.”

Tsukishima knows this. He knows that Hinata is Kageyama’s equal when it comes to their passion in volleyball. If there is anyone who can keep up with Kageyama, or be better, it is Hinata. It is definitely some sort of fate that the both of them found each other.

“Even though I have someone who shares my passion, I don’t think my head ever got out of that dark space,” Kageyama continues. “This desire to keep taking what I’m given is a selfish one and I never felt the need to give back as much as I’ve received. But then you came along.”

The sun has completely set and they have finished all the food in their lunchboxes (more like Tsukishima picked at his food as usual and Kageyama ate most of it). The sky has turned a soft violet, transitioning to a deep blue that mirrors Kageyama’s eyes.

“Will you give me just a little while more?” Tsukishima finds himself asking. Kageyama’s eyes accept his request without saying anything else.

They move away from the pavillion to the grass on the hill. Tsukishima spreads the mat from earlier on the ground and invites Kageyama to lie down on it with him. Kageyama does, settling himself just beside Tsukishima with the only distance between them being a small space between their shoulders. The mat is a bit small for the both of them and both their limbs stick out to the grass but Tsukishima will take this.

He looks at the sky above him, a navy blanket of a thousand twinkling stars. He points out some constellations to Kageyama, who nods in wonder with his own twinkle in his eyes.

Tsukishima lets out a sigh as he finally spots the full moon, hidden behind some clouds. He extends his arm, reaching out for the moon as if it is within his grasp. He wonders if he stares for too long, would its beauty wear out?

He feels the weight of a stare on him and turns to see blue eyes and a bittersweet smile gazing softly at him.

_The moon is beautiful, isn't it?_

He does not know who leans in first, but the both of them are kissing the moment they close the distance between them. Kageyama’s kisses are languid as compared to his desperate plea yesterday. Tsukishima has a hand cupping his face, his thumb caressing Kageyama’s cheek. They pull away slightly and Tsukishima sees how Kageyama’s eyes are glazed over as they look into his.

_You were not supposed to fall for someone who knows he has to break your heart._

Tsukishima captures his lips again, this time placing a hand next to Kageyama’s body and slightly angling his body so that he is half on top of him. He is glad that it is dark so he does not have to worry about people looking at them.

_But what if he knows that and still makes the conscious decision to fall?_

Kageyama has his hands on his back but Tsukishima can feel his fingers trembling.

“Please tell me that you want this,” Tsukishima whispers to Kageyama’s parted lips.

Kageyama digs his fingers into Tsukishima’s shirt, pushing himself forward so that they are both sitting up. There is that desperation again as Kageyama moves his mouth against Tsukishima’s, kissing him as if he wants to numb his heart to all of his feelings.

“Kageyama,” Tsukishima breathes out as he cups Kageyama’s face in his hands and rests his forehead on the other boy’s. “Tobio, _please_.”

Kageyama freezes, looking at Tsukishima with those tragically beautiful blue eyes – those eyes that are unable to hide his real feelings for Tsukishima. 

“I don’t want this,” Kageyama tells him. “I don’t- _I can’t_.”

He quickly pulls away as if he had been burned and looks away from Tsukishima. “I’m sorry,” he mutters.

Tsukishima does not understand. He knows that Kageyama wants this but he lies straight through his teeth and pushes Tsukishima away, as if trying to convince himself otherwise.

_Why are you running away, king?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i make them go to the aquarium just so i could wax poetics about kageyama's eyes? yes
> 
> i apologise for yet another painful chapter, i promise i will make the boys happy in the next one ; ;;;;
> 
> i can't believe we've reached 1000 hits and 100+ kudos??? thank you so much for reading and supporting this fic!!! i'm still in awe every time i read the comments because it still has not sunk in that so many of you like this fic. thank you again... i am very grateful for every single one of you ; - ;
> 
> stay safe everyone and wash your hands! (:


	7. sunday

Tsukishima’s thoughts keep him up all night, making him stare at the ceiling while the image of Kageyama’s sad blue eyes keep appearing in his head. He keeps wondering why the other would hold back when he has feelings for him. He has exhausted his damn list of reasons and he just wants an answer.

_ If you only play scenarios out in your head, you won’t get answers _ , Yamaguchi’s voice rings in his head.

Tsukishima sighs. Kageyama has not texted him since he got home last night and to be really honest, he had almost expected one from him. He had gotten so used to Kageyama’s presence in his life that it feels weird when he is back to how he was at the start of the week.

A soft glow creeps into his room through the window and Tsukishima turns to his side so that he can take a peek outside. He cannot believe that he is still up at sunrise because he cannot stop thinking of stupid Kageyama. The sun has not completely risen yet so it is considerably calm outside. The early daylight is cool as it settles in his room and it makes Tsukishima think about how it is such a big contrast to the way the sunset painted his skin a vivid orange yesterday. 

He is rarely awake at the crack of dawn so he kind of appreciates this moment, the calmness of sunrise. There is just something about capturing the right moment that makes him feel at ease. He wishes he could say the same for all the other right moments he had captured this week.

Sleep is definitely not going to sink in any time soon, so Tsukishima pushes the blanket off of him and slips out of bed.

* * *

“Oh? You’re awake,” his mother says in surprise when she walks into the kitchen. Tsukishima is standing in front of the thermos, staring vacantly into space while waiting for the water to boil. Instant coffee sounds like a good idea today.

“Morning,” he mumbles to his mother, watching her walk to the engawa to slide open the door for fresh air to come into the house.

“It’s a chilly morning today. I hope Mako-chan’s doing fine,” his mother muses out loud. It is part of her daily routine to put food out for Mako-chan first thing in the morning. Usually Mako-chan will already be waiting at the engawa but today the cat is nowhere in sight. She is probably curled up near a radiator somewhere, waiting for the sunrays before making her way to their house.

“Why don’t you just let Mako-chan sleep in our house if you worry about her so much?” Tsukishima asks.

“You know how Mako-chan’s like,” his mother replies as she walks to the kitchen. “I’ve prepared a basket for her in the living room but she will still insist on going out every night. She has kittens with another housecat somewhere, you know?”

Tsukishima is intrigued by this fact. “Mako-chan has kids?”

“Yes, Kei. She has her own kittens,” his mother chuckles, taking out a cup and putting a tea bag into it. "Maybe when they're bigger she'll bring them around."

The thermos starts to hiss and steam is beginning to escape from the spout. Tsukishima idly flicks the switch to turn it off and pours the hot water into his cup. He also pours the water into his mother’s cup and they both walk to the engawa with their cups and take their seats side-by-side, waiting for Mako-chan to come over.

Karasuno is a bit on the quiet side for a suburban area but Tsukishima likes the quietness of it all. He knows that his parents used to live in the city before moving here because his mother’s therapist said that the fresh air would do her good. He wonders if she has ever thought of moving back to the city once he graduates from high school. 

They have talked about his graduation plans once when his father was home. There is a good archaeology programme in Osaka and his mother had encouraged him to go for it, saying that it was good to go for universities outside of Miyagi. 

But Tsukishima does not think he can leave his mother on her own. He thinks about how his father is always overseas and how his brother is working in the city. Who will be around for her when she needs someone?

“You have the same look as your father when you’re both thinking too hard,” his mother tells him, breaking his chain of thought. “What are you thinking about?”

Tsukishima grimaces, not exactly happy to be compared to his father. “Don’t you ever wish that dad would go on lesser business trips? What’s wrong with just working in the city? Even Nii-chan comes around more often nowadays despite having his own apartment.”

His mother smiles as she sips on her tea. “You think too much for your age, my dear,” she chuckles. “When we make choices, we acknowledge that there are good and bad things about it. If everything is smooth sailing until the end, we wouldn’t learn to appreciate the growth we see each other go through.”

His mother reaches out to card her fingers in his hair and suddenly he feels like he is a child again. He wants to stay here and feel safe and not have his heart broken by the person he chose to fall for.

As they continue to drink from their cups, a small grey figure appears from the gate and meows. “Ah, there you are, Mako-chan!” his mother greets happily.

Mako-chan pads over and rubs her head against both Tsukishima and his mother’s legs in greeting. She meows happily when Tsukishima scratches her head. “Good morning, Mako-chan,” he murmurs, placing the bowl of food in front of her.

Mako-chan meows and proceeds to eat from the bowl. Tsukishima continues stroking her long body, pulling away once he feels like he has given her enough pats. He takes another sip of his coffee, hissing at the bitterness but content with the perk it gives him.

“I hope that’s the only cup you’re drinking today,” his mother tells him. “Did you even get any sleep?”

“A little bit,” Tsukishima lies, avoiding eye contact with her as he takes another sip from his cup.

“You were dressed so nicely yesterday. You went out on a date, didn’t you?” his mother snickers when he turns red. “I’m so happy that you finally found the courage to ask Kageyama-kun out!”

Tsukishima huffs. “What makes you think that I went out with Kageyama? It could literally be anybody else.”

“Honey, you’ve been so insistent on the  _ ‘zing’ _ thing since you found out about it. You really want me to believe that you would look elsewhere when Kageyama-kun’s right in front of your eyes?”

“Mom!” Tsukishima whines when his mother laughs. “Okay, fine. I went on a date with Kageyama yesterday. But he was the one who asked me first.”

“Then that’s a good sign, isn’t it?” his mother asks. She frowns when Tsukishima sighs. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“I thought that he liked me too... No, I  _ knew  _ that he liked me too,” Tsukishima mutters. “I confessed to him twice but both times he rejected me.”

His mother hums. “Did he say why he had to reject you?”

“He mentioned that this isn’t how my first is supposed to be like,” Tsukishima tells her. “A lot of people say that he’s emotionally unavailable but I think… he just cares in his own way, you know?”

Maybe it is the coffee. Maybe it is just the after-effects of being rejected twice when he knows that the feelings are clearly mutual. But Tsukishima is feeling so riled up that he cannot help but rant. “His eyes obviously show what he feels but he always says otherwise. He always puts other people first and doesn’t care about his own feelings. He thinks just because he has more experience than me, he can decide what my first relationship should be like. He keeps telling me to stop thinking too much but then he goes ahead and overthinks all this. He’s just so….  _ frustrating _ !”

His mother nods at each point but her eyebrows are furrowed. Even Mako-chan is looking at Tsukishima with concern. “Mom, are feelings supposed to be this hard?” Tsukishima mutters bitterly, his head in his hands.

His mother sighs while Mako-chan jumps onto the engawa and headbutts Tsukishima until he takes his head away from his hands and lets her onto his lap. “Well, I don’t think feelings are ever easy, but that’s why love is beautiful, isn’t it?” his mother hums.

Tsukishima looks at his mother in astonishment.  _ Love? _ He has not even figured out why Kageyama is holding back and it frustrates him a lot. How can this be love?

“From what I’ve heard, Kageyama-kun feels that he might not be the best person for you and thinks that you deserve better,” his mother says. “Yes, it sounds like something he decided on his own, but have you told him otherwise?”

Tsukishima chews on his lip as he thinks about both of the times he confessed. Both times he did not argue with him because he was so caught up with wondering why Kageyama’s eyes were looking at him sadly.

“Acknowledging our feelings can be very scary,” his mother adds. “But sometimes all we need is a bit of assurance to make ourselves a little braver about the choices we want to make. And I think love is one of those choices that needs courage to pursue.”

His mother smiles when she sees the look on Tsukishima’s face. “Kageyama-kun seems like he needs that little bit of assurance. But you’ve made your choice, haven’t you?”

* * *

Tsukishima huffs behind his scarf as he walks along the street leading to Kageyama’s house. When he told his mother that he was going to talk to Kageyama, she quickly whipped up a lunchbox for him to bring along. He wonders if Kageyama would have to work out twice as much with how his mother is spoiling him.

Tsukishima wants to know if the universe has a vendetta against him for making it the chillest day of the week when he has to make his way to his first love’s house and confess again.

_ His first love _ .

Thankfully his memory does not fail him and he remembers the roads to take to get to Kageyama’s house (even though he was in a daze from his first kiss the last time).

He really let Kageyama do whatever he wanted with his heart, didn’t he?

He stops in front of a house with ‘ _Kageyama_ ’ inscribed onto the plaque. The house looks quiet, just like Tsukishima had thought it would be. He hesitantly walks to the front door and stops a few footsteps short. He takes in a deep breath and calls out, “Hello? Sorry for intruding!”

He does not hear anything and momentarily panics if maybe Kageyama went out for a run and he had to come back later. But as he is standing around, the door opens and he nearly jumps in surprise.

Before him is a lady with short black hair and eyes which resemble Kageyama’s. Tsukishima has never seen her before but he vaguely remembers Kageyama mentioning an older sister.

“H-Hello?” he greets.

The lady furrows her eyebrows and it makes Tsukishima think that this is  _ definitely  _ Kageyama’s sister. “Who are you? What do you want?” she asks.

“I’m a friend of Kageyama Tobio. I just need to talk to him for a bit,” Tsukishima tells her.

The way Kageyama’s sister looks at him makes him nervous and he straightens up just in case she is assessing him. “You say you’re a friend of Tobio’s?” she asks.

“Yes,” he answers politely. “My name is Tsukishima Kei.”

Kageyama’s sister seems to brighten up when she hears his name. “Ah, you’re a Tsukishima! No wonder you look familiar,” she chuckles. “Come on in, it’s cold outside. Did you say that you’re a friend of Tobio’s?”

Tsukishima follows her into the house and gratefully accepts the house slippers she lays out for him. Despite the heater in the house, his hands are still cold and shaking. He gets ushered to the living room sofa and Kageyama’s sister makes him a hot cup of tea.

“Thank you,” Tsukishima says, accepting the hot cup with his cold fingers.

“I’m sorry but Tobio’s been holed up in his room all day. He’s been so grumpy that he didn’t even go for his morning run today,” Kageyama’s sister huffs as she takes a seat at the sofa adjacent.

“I’m Tobio’s older sister, not sure if he’s told you about me. He likes to act like I don’t exist sometimes. You can call me Miwa,” she tells him. “I haven’t met any of his friends yet. So far he’s only talked about an orange haired idiot.”

“I know that orange haired idiot,” Tsukishima says with a grimace. “We’re all in the same volleyball club.”

“Ah, that makes sense!” Miwa exclaims as she puts her hands together. “Sorry, I can’t imagine Tobio having any friends outside of volleyball. I know he’s had a few girlfriends but he always breaks up with them after a few days. My brother’s a jerk isn’t he?”

Tsukishima chuckles. “Actually, he’s quite nice. It’s just that people tend to misunderstand him sometimes.”

“Seems like that’s been his problem for the longest time,” Miwa quips. “He’s never been one to open up about something. He’s always been close to our grandfather but he passed away recently.”

Tsukishima is staring at his cup of tea. He thinks about how scary it must be for Kageyama to open up to someone when he does not know how to do so. He does not realise that Miwa has been looking at him with a pensive look.

“It’s nice that Tobio has someone who really cares about him,” Miwa suddenly says.

Tsukishima looks up, unaware that he has been quiet for too long. Miwa stands up from the sofa and picks up her things on the table. “I have to go back to work now. I only came over to have lunch with him but it’s annoying when he’s pissy. You know which room is his, right?”

“Yeah…” Tsukishima nods, standing up as well. Miwa chuckles and gives him a pat on the shoulder so that he sits back down.

“Give him a big scolding for me, okay? He needs someone to set his head straight,” Miwa tells him.

“Ah, okay,” Tsukishima replies, rubbing his nape.

Miwa gives him a big smile. She has the same smile as Kageyama, warm and easy. “By the way, tell Akiteru I said hi.” she suddenly says.

Tsukishima’s eyes widen and he nearly stubs his toe on the coffee table in shock. “You know my brother?”

“Let’s just say we were very good friends in college,” Miwa chuckles as she puts on her coat. “Chin up, Kei-chan! My brother doesn't bite.”

After Miwa leaves, Tsukishima gets up from the sofa and paces around the living room. He realises that he has no idea how he is going to even begin talking to Kageyama. To be honest, he did not even think that he would get this far. Fortunately, the earlier conversation with Miwa is enough to make his nerves fizzle out a bit. Especially Miwa’s revelation about knowing his brother. He definitely needs to ask him what is that all about.

Alright, here he goes. He is going to give Kageyama a piece of his mind.

Kageyama looks surprised to see Tsukishima standing at the door of his bedroom. “What are you doing here?” he asks in disbelief.

“We agreed on dating until the end of this week so technically we’re still dating,” Tsukishima says without any context whatsoever. “You’re not the only one who can break someone’s heart, king. I can break yours too.”

Kageyama furrows his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“Kageyama Tobio, I’m breaking up with you,” Tsukishima declares seriously, crossing his arms to his chest.

Kageyama is still looking at him in disbelief so Tsukishima marches over to him and grabs the front of his shirt. The other boy seems to have snapped out of his shock because he is now looking very irritated. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Kageyama yells at him, trying to push Tsukishima off of him.

_ Biceps be damned _ , Tsukishima thinks as he keeps his firm grip. “What the fuck is wrong with me?! What the fuck is wrong with  _ you _ ?!” he asks, his voice strained. “You were the one who said you wanted this. Why the fuck are you moping in your room like I’m the one who hurt you?”

Kageyama tenses, blue eyes staring at Tsukishima like a deer caught in the headlines. His hands are trembling and his heart is beating so, so fast. But Tsukishima needs to do this. He needs to let Kageyama know that he is here.

“I know that it’s fucking scary. Trust me, I’m still scared about feeling all this. I thought I was feeling things for you just because we were doing this fake dating thing and we were spending a lot of time with each other. But I  _ know  _ that there’s more to it and I  _ chose _ to continue falling for you even though I was so scared.”

“You don’t decide how my first should be because it is my own feelings so you don’t have to be the one overthinking it. And I’ve decided that you should be my first.”

Kageyama’s breath hitches as he looks at Tsukishima and the latter really cannot tell whether he is still processing his words or he is just shocked by Tsukishima’s outburst.

“Kei,” Kageyama calls out in a shaky voice, enveloping his hands over Tsukishima’s wrists. “Kei, you’re too good for me. You don’t deserve someone who will shut you out.”

Tsukishima loosens his grip from Kageyama’s shirt and moves his hands to cup Kageyama’s face. “And I’m telling you that I understand,” Tsukishima tells him. “I know that it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings and all this while you've only been putting others first because you don’t want them to fall too deep. But  _ god _ , Kageyama, I want to understand what you’re feeling. I want you to keep putting yourself first.”

Kageyama’s blue eyes are glassy as he continues to look at Tsukishima. “I’m scared,” he says in a small voice.

Tsukishima swipes his thumb underneath an eyelid as a tear threatens to fall. “I know.”

“I’ve never wanted so much for anyone when I know that I'm not able to give it to them,” Kageyama continues, his shoulders trembling.

“I just want you to be happy with the choices you make,” Tsukishima murmurs before closing the distance between them.

Kageyama’s face is wet but Tsukishima just keeps kissing him again and again until the tears stop trailing down his cheeks. He knows that Kageyama is not broken and that he does not need anyone to treat him like he is fragile. Kageyama is fully capable of picking himself back up and now he has Tsukishima to be there for him when he needs that little assurance.

“Tsukishima Kei, you’re really something,” Kageyama chuckles as he presses his forehead against his. “I’m glad for this. I’m glad for you.”

“Great,” Tsukishima whispers against Kageyama’s lips. “That’s great.”

He lets out a sigh as he feels his eyelids getting heavy. Who knew talking about his feelings would be so tiring?

“Oi, what time did you even sleep last night?” Kageyama asks, pulling Tsukishima’s head down to his shoulder.

“I didn’t,” Tsukishima mumbles into Kageyama’s neck. He feels warm, like a vivid sunset.  _ Love feels warm _ .

“Idiot,” Kageyama fondly mutters as he puts his arms around him.

Tsukishima vaguely remembers getting carried to a bed and falling into soft sheets. Everything smells like Kageyama but he is already drifting off to feel embarrassed about it. He can feel Kageyama slipping into the space next to him and pulling him close. He lets out a sigh when he feels fingers in his hair and as he is dozing off, he hears the setter murmur softly.

“Thank you for letting me be your first, Kei.”

* * *

When Tsukishima opens his eyes, he is met with Kageyama’s sleeping face. He momentarily panics when he sees the blue sheets underneath him before he remembers that he is at Kageyama’s house.

Kageyama Tobio.

He groans as he feels his heart fluttering in his chest at the thought. God,  _ fuck feelings _ , Tsukishima just hopes that he gets over this phase soon so he can stop feeling like a shoujo manga protagonist.

He turns to look at the boy sleeping next to him. Kageyama has an arm around him and he is radiating heat like a furnace. A cold wind blows into Kageyama’s room from his open window and Tsukishima shivers, moving towards Kageyama and burying his face in the juncture of Kageyama’s neck and shoulder. The setter stirs, turning his head slightly to glare at the open window. He is about to get up but Tsukishima stops him by clinging on. “Just ignore it,” he mumbles.

Kageyama obliges, letting Tsukishima snuggle into him as he drapes an arm around Tsukishima. He thinks he can get used to this, especially with how Kageyama is drawing patterns on his back.

_ Familiar patterns. _

“Are you really thinking of plays right now?” Tsukishima narrows his eyes at him.

“I suddenly thought of a really good one,” Kageyama tells him. “I think Jinki and Hiro can pull it off.”

“You’re insufferable,” Tsukishima groans but his smile on Kageyama’s neck says that he does not really mean it.

“Don’t use words I don’t understand,” Kageyama chides him lightheartedly, poking his side.

Tsukishima laughs as he curls into himself to avoid Kageyama’s poking. They end up having a tickle fight and wrestle each other on the bed to get the upper hand. Of course, Kageyama wins and he pins Tsukishima by his hands underneath him. “Unfair,” Tsukishima huffs, glaring at the setter. “Stop flaunting your brute strength, you idiotic king.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Kageyama replies with a smirk. Tsukishima rolls his eyes as the setter laughs.

“I like your eyes,” Kageyama suddenly says, letting go of Tsukishima’s hand to brush his hair away from his face. “Your eyes are so beautiful. They made me fall for you so fast I forgot how to fall asleep without thinking of them.”

Tsukishima feels the blush creep up his cheeks as he stares at Kageyama’s perfectly calm face.  _ Where did Kageyama learn how to say all these things?! _

“Fuck,” Tsukishima breathes out, face still red. “You’re too much for my heart.”

Kageyama chuckles and settles down next to Tsukishima again. He leaves one hand holding Tsukishima’s, intertwining their fingers together. Tsukishima brings their hands to his lips and lightly grazes them on Kageyama’s knuckles.

“So, since we’ve broken up from a fake relationship, does that make us fake ex-boyfriends?” Kageyama asks.

“I guess so,” Tsukishima says, turning to face Kageyama. “What we’re doing now isn’t exactly something ex-boyfriends do, is it?”

“I don’t think so,” Kageyama chuckles, squeezing Tsukishima’s hand. “So what are we?”

“What do you want us to be?” Tsukishima asks.

Kageyama hums as if he is really giving it a hard thought. Tsukishima leans in and presses a kiss to his temple. “Why are you thinking so hard? Don’t think,” he murmurs.

Blue eyes meet his, soft and full of adoration. It makes Tsukishima feel warm. “I don’t really want to rush into things. I like having my moments with you,” Kageyama tells him. “What about you?”

“I’m okay with taking things slow. As long as you talk to me about things first instead of deciding them for me,” Tsukishima says.

A grin plays on Kageyama’s lips as he leans in slightly, his warm breath fanning on Tsukishima’s lips. “Is that our new set of rules?”

He chuckles when Tsukishima actually thinks about it. “Yeah, I guess it is. I think we should also add one more rule – the golden rule.”

“Oh?” Kageyama raises an eyebrow. “And what would that rule be?”

“You can’t go running away, king,” Tsukishima says, his gaze falling to Kageyama’s lips.

Kageyama smiles. “From you? I will never.”

Tsukishima feels his smile widen when he leans in to press their lips together. And his heart is warm. _So so warm_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised you happy boys, so have all of the happy boys fluff!!!
> 
> damn, i loved writing this chapter. i suppose it's nice to finally have closure from all the angst : ' )
> 
> thank you guys so much for your comments in the previous chapter! i always liked reading your thoughts on how the chapter went. sometimes they gave me new perspectives too and i always found them interesting! (even the one liners of 'KAGEYAMA WHYYYYYYYYY' yes those give me the biggest kick : ' ))
> 
> you can follow me on twitter @miyaagiboys if you'd like to make friends! i... don't bite i promise but i do like to hype people up so maybe i'll just end up liking all your tweets or something (*/ω＼)
> 
> the next chapter will be more of an epilogue so it won't be that long of a chapter (it gives me more reason to write ot5 hehe) but i still hope that you'll look forward to it!
> 
> thank you for reading this far! hope you're washing your hands and staying safe (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡


	8. monday (again)

_ It seems like there is something different about Tsukishima and Kageyama today _ , Yachi thinks as she eyes both boys in front of her. They are having lunch at the rooftop again as per usual and the two boys are sitting so close that their knees are touching. Kageyama even has his hand on Tsukishima’s thigh. 

Yachi thinks if they could climb onto each other’s laps at that moment, they probably would. That is how close they look.

Maybe the date went really well? She has not asked any of them about it because Yamaguchi had asked her not to. Since the start of lunch, Tsukishima has been looking at Kageyama with so much honey in his eyes and he actually  _ smiles _ when Kageyama looks at him back. Usually he only looks at Kageyama this way when he thinks the other is not looking. The same goes for Kageyama. 

It looks too cute. Something good must have definitely happened right? 

Tsukishima leans in to whisper something to Kageyama's ear and the latter scowls.

“You tell her,” he mutters.

“I can't do it,” Tsukishima hisses at him.

“I’m already bad enough. I can’t break Yacchan’s heart too!” Kageyama hisses back.

Yachi raises an eyebrow and looks imploringly at her boyfriend. Yamaguchi is shaking his head. “Whatever these idiots say, don’t take it to heart,” he tells her.

Kageyama and Tsukishima narrow their eyes at him. “Yup, definitely preferred when they were disagreeing with each other,” Yamaguchi mutters.

“Yacchan, we have something to tell you,” Kageyama finally says.

“What is it?” Yachi asks, ever optimistic.

Would they need more advice on future date spots? Are they going to ask to go on a double date? Yachi is all but ready to help her two friends.

“We broke up,” Kageyama says grimly.

Yachi definitely did not expect that.

“WHAT?!” she gasps. “Wait- What-  _ Huh _ ?!”

They-  _ are they for real?  _ Is this her fault? Should she not have been so aggressive with them last Thursday? Was the way she styled Tsukishima for their date too ugly?

“Guys, you’re being so mean to Yachi,” Yamaguchi sighs, shaking his head as both Tsukishima and Kageyama are snickering.

“But we really did break up. We’ve decided to take things slow,” Tsukishima tells Yamaguchi. “And for the record, I dumped him first.”

Kageyama rolls his eyes. “Even the way you broke up with me is so dramatic. Do you think you’re the hero of a romance drama? You watch too many of those.”

“I can’t help but watch what my mom is watching!” Tsukishima retorts.

Yachi is looking as pale as a ghost as the both of them start bickering.  _ It seems like… there is something different about Tsukishima and Kageyama today… _

Yamaguchi goes into scary captain mode, effectively silencing the both of them. Kageyama nudges Tsukishima, who at least has the decency to look ashamed.

The golden haired middle blocker slips a package of cute post-its, stickers and highlighters in front of Yachi. “Compensation,” he offers in a small voice.

“You guys owe her more than this!” Yamaguchi barks as Yachi looks like her soul has just left her body. He wishes that they would just come clean to Yachi themselves but he is pretty sure that the both of them are going to make him explain the situation to her instead.

“Hey guys!”

Yachi feels a bright source of light bundling towards them. This is it, this is the sun on it’s way to swallow her up for causing her two closest friends to break up.

The bright light materialises into orange hair and a loud voice.  _ Oh, it is just Hinata. _

“Sorry, I’m late!” Hinata apologises. “I bumped into these kids and asked them if they wanted to eat lunch with us.”

“Senpai, you didn’t really give us a choice,” Akiyama sighs, setting down his lunchbox on the ground.

“The more the merrier!” Hinata grins. His face quickly shifts when he turns to look at Kageyama and Tsukishima, where Kageyama is leaning towards Tsukishima with an arm propped up behind the middle blocker’s body. “Hey, you two ex-boyfriends! Behave yourselves, we’ve got kids here!”

“Eh? Tsukki-senpai and Kageyama-senpai broke up?” Jinki gasps in disbelief. “Why don’t the two of you look sad?”

Tsukishima shrugs. “It was mutual, I guess.”

Yamaguchi grimaces as Jinki looks at Tsukishima with puppy dog eyes. His expression is as if he just heard that his parents were getting a divorce. The first-year’s hero worship for Tsukishima is really severe but it is even more amazing that Tsukishima does not notice it.

Hoshihiro, thankfully the sensible one of the first-year pair, pats Jinki’s shoulder. “They still look close even though they’ve broken up,” Hoshihiro tells him.

“but Hiro... Kageyama-senpai and Tsukki-senpai were really happy together,” Jinki says sadly.

_ Right, it is also probably because Jinki is another hopeless romantic and they both have the same ideals. _

“We’re fine, Jinki. Look,” Kageyama assures him, putting his arm around Tsukishima in a half backhug.

“PROTECT THEIR INNOCENCE!” Hinata squawks, stepping into the role of PDA police and obnoxiously waves his arms between the two of them to get them to separate.

“Does this mean that we’re gonna have to be careful before entering the clubroom,” Akiyama drawls. “No offence, senpais. but I don’t really trust you both to keep the clubroom  _ clean _ . That’s why Hinata-senpai’s so strict with the PDA policing, right?”

Hinata chokes on his food while Yachi is still as pale as a sheet. Tsukishima turns the deepest shade of red but Kageyama just looks at the second-year brazenly. Yamaguchi has already put his hands over Jinki's ears the moment Akiyama opened his mouth. Meanwhile, Hoshihiro has already lost interest in the conversation.  _ Bless that boy... _

A cold wind blows past them. “Hinata, what have you been telling our dear kouhai?” Kageyama asks in an unusually normal voice.

“I didn’t say anything!” Hinata whines. “I have no idea what he’s saying.”

“Hinata-senpai says that the both of you are highly more likely to slip up than Yamaguchi-senpai and Yachi-senpai,” Akiyama grins.

Tsukishima has buried his face in his hands, probably contemplating throwing either himself or Akiyama off the rooftop. Kageyama rolls his sleeves up, directing all his ominous aura to a shaking Hinata. Yamaguchi and Yachi keep their faces serene but deep down they are deeply embarrassed from being exposed as a vanilla couple.

“Hinata, you big mouthed idiot!” Kageyama yells as he runs after a wailing Hinata. Yachi ignores Hinata’s cries for help, opening the stationery pack Tsukishima had given her earlier and talking about highlighter colours with Jinki instead.

“Yamaguchi-senpai, aren’t you gonna stop them?” Hoshihiro asks, watching the two idiots chase each other around the rooftop.

“Nope,” Yamaguchi replies, returning to his food. He hopes Kageyama beats Hinata up. That idiot definitely deserves it this time.

* * *

“Alright, everyone! Make sure you don’t cut corners stretching your muscles- I’m looking at you Akiyama. We’re playing Date Tech for today’s practice match so we have to be prepared.”

Tsukishima tears off the tape from the roll and gingerly presses it down on Jinki’s fingers. “There,” he tells the first-year. “You’re gonna have to learn how to do this by yourself eventually, you know. I’ll be graduating in a few months.”

“I’ll learn in a few months,” Jinki assures him, wriggling his fingers to make sure they are okay. “Or I could just ask Hiro to help me like how Kageyama-senpai helps you.”

Tsukishima’s face flushes red but he cannot find it in himself to tell off the first-year. “Jinki, you need to learn how to stand on your own feet,” Tsukishima says to him, trying to be as stern as he can.

Jinki pouts but then he brightens up again. “Are you and Kageyama-senpai still gonna be each other’s special person even after graduation?”

Tsukishima chuckles at his choice of words. Yamaguchi mentioned to him after lunch that the first-year is perhaps so invested in their relationship because he looks up to them as if they are his volleyball parents. Kageyama was quick to say that Tsukishima was the mom because he is always treating Jinki like a small child. Tsukishima jabbed him in the stomach for that but he does agree that the first-year strikes him as a version of himself if he never had to grow up so fast.

He looks at where Kageyama is watching the warm-ups and making sure that everyone stretches their muscles properly. Kageyama catches him looking and Tsukishima pretends to be looking somewhere else lest it feeds Kageyama’s ego. 

“I think it’s too soon to tell,” Tsukishima says realistically. They just only talked about their feelings for each other anyway. He would be too over his head if he were to say otherwise. “Anything can happen.”

Jinki hums, ever the enabler of Tsukishima’s romantic thoughts. “Do you want him to be, though?”

Kageyama is walking over, perhaps sensing that he is being talked about, but Tsukishima smiles as he pats Jinki’s back. “Of course.”

“Jinki, you haven’t done your warm-ups, have you?” Kageyama asks as he stands in front of the two. “Go over there and quickly do them. We’re gonna start soon.”

Jinki nods and obediently runs over to the court. “You’re spoiling him too much. He needs to learn how to be independent,” Kageyama chides Tsukishima, taking the seat next to him on the bench.

“I told him that. He’ll probably learn how to when he becomes a senpai,” Tsukishima retorts. “You only grew up recently too.”

“Shut up,” Kageyama grumbles, grabbing the tape from Tsukishima’s hand. 

He laughs as Kageyama grumpily wounds the tape around Tsukishima’s fingers. “Who’s spoiling who now?”

“I’m going to tape all your fingers together,” the setter mutters. Tsukishima laughs again, finding it funny that Kageyama’s words are merely threats since he is being so careful.

“Now that you like me, will you at least try to reach for my tosses?” Kageyama asks seriously.

Tsukishima throws the roll of tape at his face.

“Okay, we have a bit of time before Date Tech comes over. Let’s do some spiking drills,” Coach Ukai announces. “We’ll do one round with Kageyama and the next with Jinki so he can get used to it. Jinki, watch Kageyama carefully and see how he tosses to each player. Everyone else, make sure you get a spike in.”

“Yes coach!”

Hinata starts the line with a powerful spike, cheering happily as he does. Of course he would be the happiest when he gets to hit the ball. He is followed by Yamaguchi and the other team members. Kageyama has been tossing consistently for everyone and almost everyone manages to get a spike in.

When it is Tsukishima’s turn, he gets an ominous feeling that he might need to start his running approach earlier. Sure enough, Kageyama has given him a high toss.  _ Of course he would make Tsukishima work for it _ .

_ Asshole... _ Tsukishima thinks as he catches the glint in Kageyama’s eye. 

But instead of annoyance, his heart is actually racing with excitement. Kageyama grins like he knows that Tsukishima will hit his toss and his belief makes Tsukishima smile.

With warmth overwhelming his whole body, he makes the jump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we've finally come to the end of the rollercoaster ride! we did it, guys! we finally got soft happy tsukikage!!!
> 
> i would like to thank each and every one of you for all the support that you've given me throughout this fic. i still cannot believe the number of hits and kudos this fic has gotten over the past two weeks and i'm still so so overwhelmed by it ; ;;;; thank you too to those who left comments at the chapters (and those mvps who left one at every single chapter idsfhkf), i always try to reply to comments before posting a new chapter and i'm really happy when i get to see all your reactions. it really gives me the drive to write the next chapter faster : ' )
> 
> to be really honest, i didn't expect this fic to receive this much attention. i always write to let my head breathe and sometimes my head gets too stuck that even writing is difficult. but you guys really made this experience refreshing and i'm so so grateful for that ;;;
> 
> i hope that we'll continue to see each other! i'm on twitter @miyaagiboys if you would like to say hi hehe (though i'll probably just like all your tweets and hype you up with memes)
> 
> thank you for spending time on this fic and stay safe wherever you are ♡


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